We'll meet again

James had given me a key to the cottage.

"It will be convenient," he said, "if I am not there and Joe neither.

We can leave notes for each other.”

We were now into October and the days were fast shortening. It was the season of gales which were a feature of our coast.

One morning, when I went down, Violetta was already at the table with Gretchen, and while we sat talking one of the maids came in with the post. There were letters for the three of us. We knew they were from my mother before we looked at them, for when she wrote to one she wrote to the others. We had laughed about it-Violetta and I-when we were at school, for the letters were almost identical.

Not that we would have wanted it to change. It made us more aware of the closeness between us all.

Gretchen read her letter and looked up with excited eyes.

"It's wonderful news," she said. "Edward is being posted to Hampshire.

There will be occasions when he can get away for short spells. I should be closer. Your mother says I should return to Caddington. It will not be difficult for him to slip over. She says: 'I think you should come soon, Gretchen. We shall have you and Hildegarde with Us.

It will be wonderful for us to have a child in the house."“

“That is good news," I said.

"It is so long since Edward has seen Hildegarde," added Gretchen.

Then she hesitated for a moment. "But my job here...”

"You'll find something to do," Violetta assured her. "I don't think there will be any difficulty, do you, Dorabella?”

I shook my head, and went on: "Our first duty is to keep the troops happy, is it not? Well, one of them wouldn't be if his darling wife and child were kept away from him.”

Gretchen laughed. She could not hide her excitement.

We would leave her to pack, we said, and go over to see Mrs. Jermyn about Gretchen's replacement.

As we drove over the short distance, Violetta said: "I suppose your letter was the same as mine?”

"I imagine so. We did tell her that there had been some unpleasantness about Gretchen here, didn't we?”

"We did.”

"She thinks in that case it will be good for her to get away.”

"She's right, of course. Gretchen was very upset about it. It is something that people don't forget. If anything went wrong, she would be under suspicion.”

"It could be the same there.”

"Yes, but Edward will be there. He's a soldier, something of a hero, having come back from Dunkirk, and the parents are such paragons of patriotic zeal. She will be able to see Edward fairly often perhaps.”

Nanny Crabtree was sad. She hated to see her nursery depleted, and Hildegarde was such a good girl, she said. I reckoned Hildegarde was more virtuous in retrospect than in actuality, and that Tristan would hear frequently of her excellence, that Hildegarde had never done things like that. Hildegarde had been such a good little girl.

In a few weeks Nanny Crabtree became philosophical. "Well, I've got my hands full with his lordship-and as for that Charley and Bert!" She clicked her tongue and raised her eyes heavenwards, calling in divine corroboration of what she had to suffer.

"Racing about on them bikes! My goodness me! They scare the wits out of me, them two do. Give me little girls.”

"If I remember rightly, Nanny," I said, "you have had two who - on occasions were not such little angels.”

"You get along with you," she said, her eyes twinkling. "You were always-the saucy one, you were!”

Tristan missed Hildegarde. He said to me one day: "Want Hilgar.”

"Well," I told him, "you've got Mummy.”

He smiled suddenly and held out his arms. I picked him up and he planted a wet kiss on my cheek.

"Got Mummy," he said with evident satisfaction.

I hugged him. My little angel. He loved me now. He had forgotten that I had once deserted him.

My darling child, I thought, as I had a thousand times. I'll make up for that.

When I look back over those months, they seem like an oasis in the midst of the fearful conflict which was going on in the world.

And Tristan loved me. There is nothing to compare with a child's innocent belief in his mother's ability to make everything come right.

Even I, who am certainly not the maternal type, could rejoice in it.

I swore that never again would I disappoint him. I should always be there. I had Tristan then. I had my constant comfort, Violetta, my dear parents... and James Brent.

Yes, it was a good time.

I had driven down to Poldown and hastily shopped and then gone to Riverside Cottage. There was just a possibility that James would be there.

When I stayed for any length of time, I made sure that the car was well out of sight from the road. It was possible to do this by parking at the back of the cottage. On this occasion, I was just looking in and, if I were to stay, I should, of course, move the car.

I let myself in, saw no one was at home, scribbled a note to James and went back to the car. As I was getting in, a car drove up. It was Simone in the estate car which belonged to Jermyn's and which she drove round collecting things for Tom Yeo.

She drew up and grinned at me.