We'll meet again

He would send a message to me and I would be there, going through the cupboard so that I could make supper by the time he arrived, for it was always uncertain how long he would stay or even if he should be called back almost immediately. There was a telephone in the flat and on one occasion he was called back when we were in the middle of a meal.

It was a beautiful day and I had had a message during the previous one.

He could get away. Could I be there? I think we all felt at that time that we must be free when a soldier friend wanted to see us.

There was always a possibility that it might be the last opportunity for a long time.

I went to the flat and let myself in, for Richard had acquired a key for me. I went into the kitchen and prepared the meal. It was almost ready by the time he arrived. He looked a little strained, I thought.

"Has life been hectic?" I asked.

"I should say so. Hardly a minute when one isn't rushing some The End of a Dream where. I think these little respites are going to become fewer in the weeks to come.”

"Let me wait on you," I said, and I poured a drink for him.

"It's g00d to be here," he said. "I've grown fond of this little flat.

Have you, Violetta?”

"Yes, I have.”

"I have never experienced coming across an oasis in the desert, but I imagine it is like this.”

"I have the supper all ready.”

"That sounds like bliss.”

"So you think something is about to break?”

He lifted his shoulders.

I went on: "All very hush hush, I suppose.”

"Top secret.”

"I see. I hope you are going to like your supper. I've had to improvise a bit.”

"It will taste delicious, I am sure.”

"Don't be too sure. Just hope.”

I sat down with him while he finished his drink. I thought he looked a little uneasy. I tried to amuse him with gossip about the Ministry and made much of Marian's drama.

Suddenly he said: "Violetta, I want to talk to you seriously. This may be my last visit to the flat for some time to “

I was alert. There was something different in his attitude.

"I can't tell you how much our meetings have meant to me. You remember how it was in the past.”

"I remember," I said.

"I asked you to marry me then. If only you had...”

"We both felt it wasn't quite right, didn't we?”

"There were misunderstandings. We could have cleared those up... and then there was this Cornish man.”

"There really always was," I said.

"Do you think he will ever come back?”

"I have to think that he will. I have to hope.”

"There is only one hope. If he is a prisoner and Europe is liberated, he might be able to get back.”

"I feel sure he is alive.”

"That's because you want to believe it. It's highly improbable, Violetta.”

"Lots of highly improbable things happen.”

"I think you must know that I love you.”

"I know we are very good friends. We always were.”

"One can love one's good friends, can't one? All these days we have been together, I've had to stop myself from telling you everything.”

"Everything?”

"Yes. I have a great deal to tell.”

"Do you want to tell me?”

"I must.”

"Well, I am listening.”

"It isn't easy, Violetta. When the war is over and it is absolutely certain that Jowan will never come back, would you marry me?”

"Oh, Richard!" I cried. "I can't let myself think of his not coming back. I don't think I shall ever want to marry anyone but Jowan.”

"You can't spend the whole of your life mourning for someone who will never return.”

"I suppose some people have done that. In any case, I can't believe that he is dead. His grandmother feels the same. We understand each other absolutely.”

"It could be that you are deluding yourselves. Perhaps, when the war is over and he has not come back...”

"He will come back. I know he will.”

There was silence for a while, then he said: "I daresay you have wondered how things could have been so different between us... different from the way they were, I mean. You remember how in the past I urged you to marry me?”

"Yes, but it didn't happen.”

"I had a reason for not asking you again... not, as they say ... pressing my suit.”

"I just thought we were good friends and all that was over.”

"It is not over for me. But I will tell you why I could not ask you to marry me. It is because, Violetta, I have done a very foolish thing.

I am married already.”

I stared at him in amazement. "Then where “

“Where is my wife? I have no idea. I have not heard of her for more than a year. It was a disastrous mistake. The war had just started. I had made friends in the army. One of them had a sister.