Will You Love Me in September

She did admit that when she had seen the lords and ladies riding in their carriages she had been overcome with envy. Then there were the old dowagers in the sedan chairs in the mornings, usually going to Mass. She did not envy them so much, because they were old and it was a fearful thing to be old. But always she had wanted to be a lady in a carriage, patched, powdered, bewigged and perfumed, riding through the streets, splashing the Paris mud on passersby and attracting the attention of equally elegant young men in their carriages, pulling up, slyly making assignations, visiting the theater and being admired by the male audience and envied by the females. Life in Paris had been very much more exciting than it was at Hessenfield, but Paris had meant poverty and Hessenfield affluence.

I felt as though I had been at Hessenfield a long time, but it was only a week or so since I had arrived. My talks with both my uncle Paul and with Aimee had made me feel I was part of the place. Uncle Matthew and Ralph were frequent visitors, and there were other people, mostly men, who came to the castle. Sometimes they dined with us. When they did, I noticed there was a wariness about the conversation, and I could not help noticing that the tension I had observed when I arrived increased rather than diminished.

One day I went into my uncle's private sitting room. He was in the chair, the tartan rug over his knees, and I saw that some papers had slid to the floor. He had fallen asleep and dropped them. I hesitated. There were about six sheets, and some of them had fallen quite a little way from his chair. I went forward quietly and picked one up.

I looked at it in amazement. There was a picture on it of a very handsome man. "James the Third, King of Britain" was the heading. My eyes glanced down the page. It was an account of the virtues of the true King, and it stated that he would soon be returning to claim his kingdom. When he did, he must find his people ready to declare their allegiance to him.

I felt the color rush into my cheeks. This was treason to our crowned King George.

I looked up. Uncle Paul's eyes were on me.

"You seem absorbed by what you are reading, Clarissa," he said.

"I found these on the floor." I started to gather up the other sheets and I could not help seeing as I did so that they were the same as the one I had read.

"They slipped from my lap while I dozed," he said.

"They are ... treasonable!" I whispered.

"They would be called so, it is true. Nevertheless they are being circulated in certain places.”

I shivered. "If they were discovered ...”

He said slowly, "There is strong support for James in Scotland. There are even certain members of Parliament ... men in high places-who support him.”

"Yes, so I have heard. My great-grandfather talked a lot about Bolingbroke and Ormonde ... and men such as that.”

"Give the sheets to me. I think they should be locked away in the desk, don't you?

Will you put them there for me? Thank you.”

He started to talk of other matters, but I knew there was something very dangerous afoot. Of course they would be Jacobites at Hessenfield. My father had been a leading one. That was why he had been in France ... working to bring King James back to the throne. That James had now died, but there was this other James, his son, the Chevalier of St. George.

I wanted to talk to my uncle about this, but he quite clearly did not intend to discuss the matter with me. I wondered what my great-grandfather Carleton would say if he knew Hessenfield Castle was what he would call a "hotbed of traitors." He was intolerant, of course. He never admitted that there might be another side to a question than the one he took. I felt as my grandmother Priscilla did, that one side was not entirely right any more than the other was. I only wanted them all to be friendly together.

My uncle said suddenly, "When I first invited you to come here I planned all kinds of pleasures for you.”

"Pleasures?" I asked.

"Yes. I wanted you to meet the people of the countryside. Perhaps a ball or two.

It may be that you are over young for such. However, we should have made some attempt to show you that life is not as dull as you might think up here in the north.”

"But I have not found it dull. I am having a very interesting time.”

"It is fortunate that your sister is here. She provides the company. I am sure you would find it very dull otherwise. But it is not always so. My younger brothers are in Scotland at this time. Only Matthew is here.”

"Something is happening," I burst out. "You are preparing for something." I was thinking of the papers I had found on the floor.

He did not answer me. He merely said, "Perhaps later ... if you stay with us ...

we shall be celebrating. Then we shall show you a little castle entertainment. But just now ...”

"I understand. You cannot celebrate something which has not happened.”

"We shall see. Now would you please go and find Harper and tell him I am ready for my beef tea.”