Will You Love Me in September

I only wanted people around me to live happily, without fighting or getting angry because others had different views.

I would have found it easy, I think, to have persuaded him to let me escape. I could have asked to see the horses and mounted one and ridden away; I could have got the key of the attic from him. But I would not. I could not let him betray his uncle's trust. There was something essentially honorable about Dickon.

He brought his mastiff to show me. The dog was called Chevalier after the would-be King. He took a fancy to me, and this was an added bond between us. The little maid who had brought UP the water for me on the first day knew how it was with Dickon and me. She was a romantic at heart and, I believe, thought it charming to see the love springing up between us. I began to get special delicacies brought up from the kitchens-and I wanted this episode to go on and on. It seemed more than three days I spent in the attic. It was like a dream. Dickon felt it too-so he told me afterward.

We were avid to know everything about each other. The smallest detail seemed of the utmost importance. This was the strangest and most beautiful thing that had ever happened to me.

It was on the fourth day that he came to me, and I knew that something was wrong from the moment he stepped into the attic. He was paler than usual and his hair was ruffled. He had a habit, I knew, of running his hand through it when he was disturbed.

I went swiftly to him and put my hands on his shoulders. It was the first time I had ever touched him. His reaction was immediate. He put his arms about me and held me close to him. He did not speak for a few moments and I did not ask him to. I was savoring the wonder of being close to him.

At length he broke away from me, and then I saw how frightened he was. He said, "You must get away from here. They are coming back. They are only a few miles away. One of the men reached here in advance with the news. There has been a disaster at Preston.

Most of the Highlanders have surrendered; the rest are in retreat. My uncle will be back soon ... and I fear he will kill you.”

This was bringing me back to reality. I should have known that my idyll could not last. Dickon had changed. He was remembering too.

He looked at me very seriously. "You must not stay here," he said. "You must get away.”

"We shall have to say goodbye," I murmured.

He turned his head aside and nodded. A terrible desolation came over me. "I should never see you again," I said.

"No-no-That must not be." Then he held me against him and kissed me. He said, "Clarissa!”

and went on saying my name over and over again.

Suddenly he was alert. "There is no time to lose," he said. "You must get out of here.”

"You ... will let me go?”

He nodded.

"Your uncle ...”

"If they find you here they might kill you.”

"But they will know you have let me escape.”

"I will make some excuse ..." he muttered. "Come now. They could be here at any moment. You will have to be careful. Follow me ... quietly.”

He shut the door behind us, carefully locking it. I followed him down the steps and through the gallery. He went ahead, beckoning to me when the way was clear. We reached the hall safely and went out to the stables. Quickly he saddled a horse.

"Here," he said, "you will have need of this. Get to York. There send a message to your family. Perhaps your uncle is still there. There is a coach that goes to London from York. It starts from the Black Swan, in Coney Street, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It takes four days, providing there are no mishaps. Perhaps you could take that. I don't think they^ will follow you south. They will have to go to Scotland and join the men there.”

"Oh, Dickon," I said. "You have done this for me. I shall never forget... .”

I was not generally given to tears but they were in my eyes then. I saw, too, that he was also trying to suppress his emotion.

"It will be dangerous on the roads," he said. "A girl alone... .”

Then he began to saddle another of the horses.

I said, "Dickon ... what?”

"I am coming with you. How can I let you go alone?”

We came out into the frosty morning air.

"Oh, Dickon," I said, "you must not. Think what you are doing... .”

"There is no time for talking," he said. "Ride ... gallop ? . . We must get away from here as fast as we can.”

I knew I was in danger. I believed that they would be capable of killing me if they returned and found me there. There was indeed no time for delay. They were in retreat and would want to set out for Scotland immediately. They would not want to waste time with me, and on the other hand, they would not want to let me go free. Yes, I was in acute danger. But I knew I had never been so happy in my life.