Wings

“Whatever you do, don't be angry at me,” he begged. “I never intended to do this… not this way… but… Cass—” He looked at her imploringly, so vulnerable suddenly, so open. “I've fallen head over heels in love with you. I never expected to do that. I thought we'd just be friends, and then… I don't know what happened. But if you don't want to marry me, I'll understand. We'll just go on as we did before, we'll do the tour… Cass… please… say something… oh God, Cassie… I love you.” He buried his face in her hair, and she was overwhelmed with tenderness for him. She didn't love him as she loved Nick, that would have been impossible, but she loved him as one would a dear friend, or someone who needed you very badly. She wanted to make things right for him, to be there for him, to help him. Even to erase the pain of the past for him, if she could. But not for an instant had she ever thought of their getting married.

“Oh, Desmond,” she said softly, as he pulled away to look at her face and see what she was really saying.

“Are you angry at me?”

“How could I be…?” She looked stunned more than anything. She had no idea what to say now.

“Oh, Cassie, God how I love you,” he whispered and then kissed her for the first time, without waiting to hear if she would keep the ring, and she was startled by the extent of his passion. He was deeply emotional, in a way she had never even suspected. Everything was bottled up inside, and had been for years probably. He kissed her again, and she was surprised at herself when she responded, and was breathless when she pulled away from him. The entire experience was dizzying and she was confused by everything she was feeling. He was a far more powerful person than she was.

“I think this is supposed to be the engagement, not the honeymoon,” she said hoarsely, and he grinned, looking boyish and a little wild-eyed.

“Is it? Is it the engagement, Cass?” He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wanted it to be, but she wasn't sure yet. This was all so unexpected.

“I don't know… I… I didn't expect this…” But she didn't look angry at him, and she hadn't said no yet.

“I don't expect you to love me immediately. I know about your friend in the RAF… if… if you think that… Cassie, you have to do what's right for you… what about him?” He had to know now. And she wanted to be honest with him.

“I still love him.” She couldn't imagine loving anyone but him. She had always loved him, as far back as she could remember. “He says he'll never marry me… he left in a rage about the tour the last time I saw him, and I haven't heard from him since. I don't think I will.” She looked at him a little forlornly, remembering the last time she'd seen Nick. But everything with Desmond was so different.

“Where does that leave us?” he asked her gently. She looked at him and shivered. He was so good to her, so understanding. And she knew she couldn't abandon him now after all he'd done for her. But it didn't seem right to love one man and marry another. It wasn't fair to Desmond, more than anyone, but he seemed willing to accept the situation. And Nick would never marry her, that she was sure of. He was the stubbornest man alive. And she and Desmond had so much in common. They shared his business and the tour. Together they could do great things. And if she couldn't have Nick, then maybe all she needed was to be married to a good friend. It didn't seem possible to find another man she loved as she did Nick in one lifetime. And in time, she might come to love him as she did Nick, though she couldn't imagine it. But in many ways, she already cared about Desmond deeply. Marriage would be the ultimate bond between them. But it hurt to think of marrying anyone other than Nick Galvin.

“I'm not sure.” She looked at Desmond honestly. “I don't want to short-change you. You've already had two marriages that cheated you out of what you should have had. I…” She looked into his eyes then, and saw all his desperate hope there. He was pleading with her, without saying a word, and all she wanted to do was please him. She wanted to help him, and be there for him… and maybe that meant she loved him.

“I know how much he must mean to you,” he said understandingly “I don't expect to replace him overnight, Cass… I understand… I just love you.”

“I love you too,” she said softly. And she did. She valued his friendship, and his loyalty. She respected and admired everything about him. He had done nothing but good things for her. Right from the moment they met he had been wonderful to her. And now he wanted to give her everything. He wanted her to become Mrs. Desmond Williams. She couldn't help smiling at the idea. It was more than a little overwhelming.

“If it doesn't work for you, we'll get divorced,” he said, as though to reassure her. But she looked horrified at the suggestion.