Wings

“He won't be ‘just a friend’ forever. Sooner or later, he'll want to be a lot more, or at least that's what your father thinks.” It was what everyone thought and she knew it.

“Is that so?” She sounded cool suddenly and Nick laughed at how prim she was.

“Don't go getting all icy at me over it. You know what I'm saying. It's going to be odd if you want to be another Earhart. You're going to have to live with it. That's not always easy.” He knew that only too well. He knew a lot of things he suddenly wanted to share with her. The new dimension of their friendship both excited and frightened him. He couldn't imagine where it might lead them.

“Why is it such a big deal?” she said plaintively, thinking of Nick's questions about Bobby. It didn't make any sense to her. What was so wrong about flying?

“I guess it's a big deal because it's different,” Nick explained. “Men are made to walk around on the ground. If you want to fly around like a bird all the time, maybe they figure you should have feathers, or maybe they just figure you're weird. What do I know?” He smiled easily at her, and stretched his long legs out ahead of him. It was fun talking to her, she was so bright and young and alive, so excited about the life she had before her. He envied her that. Her life was filled with challenges to be met and fresh beginnings. Even at thirty-five, a lot of the excitement in his life seemed to be behind him.

“I think people are stupid about flying. They're just planes, and we're just people,” she said simply.

“No, we're not,” he said matter-of-factly. “We're superheroes in their heads because we do something they can't do, and that most of them are afraid of. We're like lion tamers, or high-wire dancers… it's all very mysterious and very exciting, isn't it?” He made her think about it for a minute and she nodded, and handed his Coke back to him again. He took a swig and lit a cigarette, but he didn't offer her one. She might be learning to fly, but she wasn't that grown-up yet.

“I guess it is kind of exciting and mysterious,” she conceded as she watched him smoke. “Maybe that's why I love it. But it feels so good too… it's so free… so alive… so…” She couldn't find the right words and he smiled. He knew just exactly what she meant. He still felt that way too. Every time his plane lifted off the ground, whichever one he was flying at the time, he always felt the same wild thrill of freedom. It made everything else seem bland and uninteresting. It had affected his whole life, what he did, who he saw, what he wanted to do. It had affected all his relationships, and one day it would affect hers too. He felt he should warn her somehow, but he wasn't sure what to say. She was so young and so filled with hope, it seemed almost wrong to warn her.

“It'll change your life, Cass.” was all he could bring himself to say. “Be careful of that.”

She nodded, thinking she understood what he had said, but she didn't. “I know”— and then she looked up at him, with eyes so wise it almost scared him—” but that's what I want. That's why I'm here. I can't live on the ground… like the others.” She was one of them, she was telling him, and he knew it was true. It was why he had agreed to teach her.

They spent a long time talking that day, and he hated to leave her there all alone, to walk two miles back down the country road to where she'd catch the bus to home, but he had no choice. He watched her go, with a long wave, and a moment later he took off, and did a slow roll for her, to signal his leaving. She watched him fly for a long time, still unable to believe what he had done for her. He had changed her whole life in a single afternoon, and they both knew it. It was a brave undertaking for both of them, but one which neither of them could resist, for different reasons.

The long hot walk back to the bus seemed like dancing to her; all she could think about were the feats she had done, and the feel of the plane… and the look in Nick's eyes afterward. He was proud of her. And she had never felt better in her life.

She boarded the bus with a huge grin for the bus driver, and almost forgot to pay her fifteen cents. And when she got home, it was too late to go to the airport. She went home to help her mother instead, and suddenly even helping her didn't seem so terrible. She had fed her soul, and whatever price she had to pay seemed worth it.

She was quiet at dinner that night, but no one seemed to notice it. Everyone had something to say; Chris was excited about his job at the newspaper, her father had landed a new mail contract with the government, and Colleen's baby had finally come the night before, and her mother wanted to tell them all about it. Only Cassie was unusually quiet and she had the biggest news of all, but couldn't share it.