Wings

“You planning to spend the rest of your life flying nights?” Pat asked with a look of amusement. “Don't worry. I don't think he's her type.” Her father grinned ruefully and for the first time in years, Nick blushed, and turned away from his old friend. “I might remind you though, Nick Calvin, she's engaged to the Strong boy, and shell marry him eventually, if I have anything to say about it. She needs a man firmly planted on the ground, not up in the sky, like the two of us.” He meant what he said, but what he'd seen in Nick's eyes that day intrigued him. There was something very powerful there, between the two of them, though he suspected that Cassie was too young to know it. But he also knew that Nick was wise enough not to be carried away by his own emotions.

They headed for the O'Malley home then, where Oona had promised to cook them dinner.

She was amazed to hear of Cassie's wins when they got home. In most ways, it had been a good day. But the death of Jim Bradshaw had spoiled it for all of them, and then in the midst of dinner, Bobby had arrived, looking crazed. He burst into their living room, and apologized when he saw them all eating dinner. His eyes went to Cassie first, and he looked as though he were going to burst into tears. He looked so distressed that Oona rose as though to go to him, but he backed out of the room apologetically and stood in the doorway.

“I'm sorry… I… they told me there was an accident…” His eyes filled with tears again, and they all felt sorry for him. It was easy to see what he'd thought, and Cassie got up and went to him.

“I'm sorry. It was Jim Bradshaw,” she said softly.

“Oh, my God. Poor Peggy.” She was a widow at nineteen and alone with two children. Bobby seemed overcome at the thought of it, but what had upset him so terribly was the fear that it could have been Cassie who was killed. And no one he talked to seemed to know what had happened.

They went out to sit on the porch quietly, and Cassie closed the door. You couldn't hear anything from inside the room, but they could still see how distressed he looked, as he talked to her. And she just sat there and nodded.

He was telling her that he couldn't live like this anymore, just being engaged to her, not going anywhere, not getting married, and never being entirely sure if they even had a future. He knew that she wanted to finish school, but he wasn't sure he could wait two more years. His father was so ill now, and his mother was so dependent on him. He seemed overwhelmed by all of it, and it was obvious to her that he needed her to help him. But it was equally obvious to both of them that she wasn't prepared to give up everything, and be what he needed.

“And this flying thing.” He looked at her, his eyes filled with anguish. “I can't live like this. I keep thinking you're going to be killed… and today… you could have been… you could have been…” He started to cry and she put her arms around him and held him.

“Oh, poor Bobby… poor Bobby… it's all right… shhh…” It was like consoling one of her nephews. But she understood now that there was too much on his shoulders and she was only part of that burden. He desperately needed someone to help. He was only twenty-one, barely more than a boy himself, and he deserved so much more than she had to give, and they both knew it. As she comforted him, she gently slipped his ring off her finger, and pressed it into his hand. ‘You deserve so much,” she whispered to him, “you deserve everything, and I have a long, long road ahead of me. I know that now. I was never sure of it before, but I am now.” She wanted life and freedom and flying. And now that her father accepted her, maybe she could have all those things. But she couldn't give Bobby Strong what he deserved, and in truth it was the last thing she wanted.

“Are you going to keep flying, Cass?” he asked miserably, sniffing like a small child, while the members of her family in the main room tried to ignore them.

“I am,” she nodded at him. “I have to. It's my life.”

“Don't get hurt… oh God, Cassie… don't get hurt… I love you… I thought you were dead today.” He was sobbing again and she felt terrible for him. She could only imagine what it must have been like. Just as it had been for Peggy Bradshaw.

“I'm okay… I'm fine…” She smiled up at him with tears in her own eyes. “You deserve wonderful things, Bobby, not someone like me. Find yourself a good wife, Bobby Strong. You deserve it.”

“Will you stay here?” he asked curiously, and it seemed an odd question to her. She had nowhere else to go, and she had always lived there.

“Where else would I go?”

“I don't know,” he smiled sadly, holding her ring. He missed her already. “You seem so free to me. Sometimes I hate our damn grocery store, and all the problems that go with it.”

“You're going to do great things,” she said confidently, sure that it was a lie, but he deserved all the encouragement she could give him.