Women are not unicorns

One fine day I was telling her about my man and in response I heard a couple of neutral remarks, and then again an epic story about how the guy was allegedly cheating on her.

This alarmed me greatly, but I forgave.

The next time it happened again.

"Strange. She's the one who doesn't believe in me. He doesn’t believe that since I didn’t have a single worthwhile novel until I was twenty-three, this one won’t work out either. He thinks that I’m flighty, and there’s no point in wasting energy listening to my relationships, because it’s all in vain?”

Instead of asking her this question, I waited a little longer.

Then she stopped communicating.

That same year I moved to Krasnodar, and my boyfriend made me happy every day, we lived happily and we managed to be a couple so much that mutual friends called me husband and wife.

And my friend called me again with a story about the latest problems. And as always, I listened.

At night I had a nightmare, something connected with a friend and her problems, I woke up in a cold sweat, sobbing and shaking from the experience.

Then my husband said:

— Drop her. This is not a friend, but some kind of vampire.

— But I can’t, she’s a FRIEND.

— Look at you. Are you sure? — and I looked in the mirror. The reflection screamed “either you or you.” And I realized that my childhood friend had changed a lot, and perhaps she had always been like this. Selfish and hysterical.

— Fine. I'll quit.

That same day we performed a “ritual of exorcism.” I wrote to her that I didn’t want to hear about her problems anymore. She composed a whole canvas, where she painted in all colors her resentment, how selfish I am (please note). Such people usually blame others for what they themselves do to the fullest. She wrote that I couldn’t leave her, that she needed me and that it was all my boyfriend’s fault for quarreling between us.

He copied Edita's message and sent it back to her.

It was cool. I didn't have to invent anything. We simply turned her own words around to her, like a mirror.

Since then, I really cut her out of my life. Unfortunately, many of our mutual friends remained on her side. She put me in front of them in a bad light, and I didn’t fight back. Anyway, even then I decided that for some time I would give up such a thing as close female friendship.

I gave you these two examples so you can see the difference.

Edita turned out to be so selfish that I would have broken up with her in any case, even if I remained single.

And I broke up with other friends because of myself. I would not be able to maintain the warmth of communication without dooming them to the trap described above. Just like any of us. If you are friends, then you clearly understand the risks. The influence of non-marriage is inevitable. Is your partner ready for this?

Mine is ready now. Our marriage is mature and the relationship is strong, so that I plunge into friendship with the entire female world.

But, to be honest, I will never let people in who wish me harm and who are not interested in me. I won’t let you come within cannon shot range.

The rest are very happy.

"Man with child."

What is not a chapter is an oddity.

Well, everyone’s children are like children. There are children with men with whom you get along. Calm, understanding. I came across a fiend from hell. Is it true. Fire on a stick. I wanted to say something different, but there was censorship. This monster (from the word miracle, only big) threw hysterics out of nowhere, cried, swore, fought in anger and shouted “nobody loves me, give birth to me back.”

Yes its true. Now she is God's dandelion. Coiffed, smart, beautiful. And I had to go through all the crap (sorry, it came out) of the world to get the candy.

— Buy me a skateboard.

— No.

— Buy it.

— No. You don’t make your bed, you don’t wash the dishes, you don’t do your homework, I won’t buy anything.

I went to put the T-shirt in the closet. The day passes.

— Buy me a skateboard, you promised.

— When?

— Aaaaaaah. You promised. You do not love me. — and so on.

But for all nine years she wanted not only this board. She constantly demanded something.

And you know, we did, but she learned to wash dishes, cook, do laundry, clean the house, including general cleaning, and got a job even before she graduated from school.

This is how we dealt with children's psychos. It was hard, but we managed.

Well, now, with less pathos and narcissism, I’ll tell you how it was.

Imagine a child whose parents spent every day sorting things out throughout his childhood, and then his father simply left. Mother's tears, periodic hysterics. The father gave free rein, the mother forbade. The child did not understand what model of behavior to take for himself.

Then a girl appeared who took all of her father’s attention, and I had to install a whole mountain of behavior patterns for different people and situations. Tears worked best, especially for grandmothers, because they influenced their parents.