Жажда смысла. Практики логотерапии по Виктору Франклу

This fairy-tale contains huge amount of images that are typical for human’s life, although covered with fantastic veil. It can be very useful during the family therapy. What should be considered? The perception of fairy-tales has several levels. Moral which is on surface is comprehended immediately. Ant it is great. But it’s just the first step, patient should be stimulated with directing questions to look deeper, fit the situation onto himself, looking for solutions out of situation in own life, making up fantasies on this topic.

Couple that lived together in marriage for 19 years, Natalia and Sergey, asked for help (the wife insisted). Natalia complains that spouse is rude, Sergey says that she is cold with him, that he feels himself useless for them (his wife and son with daughter). They married in strong feelings, first child was born two years after their wedding. Recalling first years of their marriage both say that it was wonderful time. But later everything changed, brightness of life blurred. Love… Where is it? And does it really exist between them?

My first question after reading the tale was:

– What did you just hear?

Husband: Story of a broken promise.

Wife: they gave this promise quite a bit before the marriage…

Me: Did the peasant love his wife?

Both answered: – Certainly!

Me: And the wife, did she love her husband?

Wife: Yes! And she loved him very much! She was good even with mother-in-law. And she took care of the harvest, though nobody understood her that moment.

Husband: If she would love – she wouldn’t leave. Husband might say a lot in bad temper.

Me: Did she leave on her own will?

Husband: Yes! Whose will could have made her do that?! She threatened her spouse once and had to fulfill the threat. Made it principally.

Here ends the first level of tale’s perception. Going further, deepening the perception.

Me: And what if there is something else? What if rudeness was killing her and she was created like that by nature? And she told her husband that not to threaten but to let her spouse know that, in spite of her will, after his rude words she’ll disappear from his life. It was her quality. Anyway, she’s magical forest creature. Not a regular woman.

Wife: So you can be rude with regular woman…

Husband: Usual woman will not threaten to disappear if she’s cursed at.

Me: Sergey, when you fell in love with Natalia, did she seem to be regular? One of millions?

Husband: Of course no! It was… magic! Yes! Like that fellow with forest Nymph. I was thinking only about her.

Me: And you, Natalia, when Sergey told you about his love, could you imagine that he is going to be rude with you? That he will be insulting and humiliating you?

Wife: Of course no! Otherwise I would prefer to die, rather then living up to that. And I would not believe if somebody would have predicted this.

Me: (addressing husband) Didn’t your wife seem to be the magical Nymph to you while you were in love?

Husband nods agreeing. She did.

Me: So, what happened then?

Husband: But she stayed with me!

Me: Nymph stayed?

Wife: Nymph is gone long ago! There is only the woman left.

Me: Did it dement on Nymph whether to stay or to leave?

Wife: Nymph flee away without looking behind. Nymphs cannot bear such an attitude.

Husband: So, nothing can be returned? That is it?

Me: Who is stronger – real woman or the Nymph? And if the Nymph is magical, so, it is possible to resurrect everything?

Wife: We, women, are stronger. We can forgive and tolerate…

Husband: And can the Nymph be resurrected?

Me: And what do you think yourself?

And then there appeared alive and interesting conversation about “plan of the Nymph resurrection”. And by the end of the session the husband said that this fairy-tale should be read to every couple that is about to get married. Mandatory.

Me: Can it be possibly too late while people are together and they still can talk to each other?

* * *

2) Example from practice.

Fairytale: “How good it is that there is Death on Earth”

In those far times while Lord Jesus Christ and the Saint Peter were walking together, once they came to the blacksmith and asked for overnight stay. The blacksmith greeted them with hospitality, put under the anvil his hammer which he had in his hand, walked them to the dining room and made great supper. And after the meal he told to his guests:

I see that you are very tired after the long road and you wish to have rest – besides it was so hot all day long – so, please, accommodate on my bed, have a good sleep. And I’ll have a nap in the barn on a straw pile.

He wished them good night and went for a sleep. And when the morning came he made them breakfast and walked with them for a bit. When they were saying “goodbye” he said:

I hope that you are satisfied with everything.

Then Saint Peter pulled Lord Jesus for His sleeve:

Lord! Aren’t You going to award him? Since he is such a good person and treated us so well?

And the Lord answered: