05 William Tell Told Again

And pride so filled this Gessler’s soul (A monarch’s pride outclassing), He stuck his hat up on a pole, That all might bow in passing. Then rose the patriot, William Tell— “We’ve groaned ‘neath Austria’s sway first; Must we be ruled by poles as well? I’ve just a word to say first!”

[Illustration: THEY WOULD MARCH ABOUT, BEATING TIN CANS AND SHOUTING]

PLATE III.

The crowd about the pole at morn Used various “persuaders”— They flung old cans (to prove their scorn Of all tin-pot invaders); And cabbage-stumps were freely dealt, And apples (inexpensive), And rotten eggs (to show they felt A foreign yoke offensive).

[Illustration: AN EGG FLEW ACROSS THE MEADOW, AND BURST OVER LEUTHOLD’S SHOULDER]

PLATE IV.

Said William Tell, “And has this cuss For conquest such a passion He needs must set his cap at us In this exalted fashion?” And then the people gave a cry, ‘Twixt joy and apprehension, To see him pass the symbol by With studied inattention!

[Illustration: “HERE! HI!” SHOUTED THE SOLDIERS, “STOP!”]

PLATE V.

At first the sentinel, aghast, Glared like an angry dumb thing; Then “Hi!” he shouted, “not so fast, You’re overlooking something!” The sturdy Tell made no response; Then through the hills resounded A mighty thwack upon his sconce— The people were astounded.

[Illustration: THEY SAW FRIESSHARDT RAISE HIS PIKE, AND BRING IT DOWN WITH ALL HIS FORCE ON TELL’S HEAD]

PLATE VI.

Could Tell an insult such as this Ignore or pass? I doubt it! No, no; that patriotic Swiss Was very cross about it. The people, interested now, Exclaimed, “Here! Stop a minute If there’s to be a jolly row, By Jingo! we’ll be in it!”

[Illustration: “LOOK HERE!” HE BEGAN. “LOOK THERE!” SAID FRIESSHARDT]

PLATE VII.

Said Tell, “This satrap of the Duke Is sore in need of gumption; With my good bow I will rebuke Such arrow-gant presumption.” “Stand back!” the soldier says, says he; “This roughness is unseemly!” The people cried, “We will be FREE!” And so they were—extremely!

[Illustration: FRIESSHARDT RUSHED TO STOP HIM]

PLATE VIII.

They dealt that soldier thump on thump (He hadn’t any notion, When on Tell’s head he raised that bump, Of raising this commotion); Tell’s arrow sped, the people crowed, And loudly cheered his action; While Tell’s expressive features showed A certain satisfaction.

[Illustration: THE CROWD DANCED AND SHOUTED]

PLATE IX.

Now, when the cat’s away, the mice Are very enterprising, But cats return, and, in a trice— Well, Gessler nipped that rising. And when those soldiers lodged complaint (Which truly didn’t lack ground), The people practised self-restraint And fell into the background.

[Illustration: “COME, COME, COME!” SAID GESSLER, “TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT”]

PLATE X.

And Tell, before the tyrant hailed, No patriot you’d have guessed him, For even his stout bosom quailed When Gessler thus addressed him:— “As you’re the crack shot of these Swiss (I’ve often heard it said so), Suppose you take a shot at this, Placed on your youngster’s head—so!”

[Illustration: “I HAVE HERE AN APPLE”]

PLATE XI.

“The bearing,” as they say, “of that Lay in the apple-cation,” And nobody will wonder at A parent’s agitation; That anguish filled Tell’s bosom proud Needs scarcely to be stated, And, it will be observed, the crowd Was also agitated.

[Illustration: THERE WAS A STIR OF EXCITEMENT IN THE CROWD]

PLATE XII.

Said Gessler, “This is all my eye! Come, hurry up and buck up! Remember, if you miss, you die— That ought to keep your pluck up. The flying arrow may, no doubt, Your offspring’s bosom enter—” But here there rose a mighty shout: “By George! He’s scored a centre!”

[Illustration: A MOMENT’S SUSPENSE, AND THEN A TERRIFIC CHEER AROSE FROM THE SPECTATORS]

PLATE XIII.

But, as the arrow cleft the core, Cried G. with indignation, “What was the second arrow for? Come, no equiver-cation! You had a second in your fist.” Said Tell, the missile grippin’, “This shaft (had I that apple missed) Was meant for you, my pippin!”

[Illustration: “SEIZE THAT MAN!” HE SHOUTED]

PLATE XIV.

With rage the tyrant said, said he, “It’s time to stop this prating; I find your style of repartee Extremely irritating. You’ll hang for this, be pleased to note.” On this they bound and gagged him (For Gessler’s castle booked by boat), And through the village dragged him.

[Illustration: HE WAS LED AWAY TO THE SHORE OF THE LAKE]

PLATE XV.

But slips between the cup and lip, When least expected, peer through— A storm arose upon the trip Which Tell alone could steer through. Thus, of all hands he quickly got (As you may see) the upper, At Gessler took a parting shot, And hurried home to supper.

[Illustration: TELL’S SECOND ARROW HAD FOUND ITS MARK]

EPILOGUE.

Some say the tale related here Is amplified and twisted; Some say it isn’t very clear That William Tell existed; Some say he freed his country so, The Governor demolished. Perhaps he did. I only know That taxes aren’t abolished!

End of Project Gutenberg’s William Tell Told Again, by P. G. Wodehouse

** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WILLIAM TELL TOLD AGAIN ***