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“You know what? Maybe we can go on a diet together,” she suggested now. “If I’m going to do this, it will be a big sacrifice, snickerdoodle. No more Cat Snax, and no more of those delicious wet food pouches. So let’s do it together. It’ll be much easier for me to keep up with my new dietary regimen if I have you right there doing it along with me.”

Brutus gave her a startled look.“You mean… no more Cat Snax? No more… wet food?”

“That stuff isn’t good for you anyway, sugar lump. And this way you’ll join me on this health kick.” She smiled as she gave her partner a loving nudge. “Thanks, snookums. I owe you one.” And with these words, she disappeared inside to look for Marge and give her the good news.

[Êàðòèíêà: img_3]

A turtle was making its way through the undergrowth. She wasn’t in a hurry, and when she came upon a fresh leaf that had recently fallen from an overhanging tree, she ate it at her leisure. It hadn’t been long since she’d escaped her home, and this sojourn through the wide and open spaces was a real pleasure.

So when she came upon a black cat, muscular and built for action and speed, she eyed it with interest. Turtles, as a rule, are built for taking things slow and at their leisure, and coming upon this supreme specimen gave her a moment’s pause, and even caused her to put down the tasty leaf so she could speak.

“Hi, there, sir,” said the turtle. “Could you please tell me where I am? I seem to be lost.”

The butch black cat glanced down and did a double-take.“I hadn’t seen you there, buddy,” said the cat. “You being the exact same color as the lawn and all… What do you want to know?”

“Where I am, exactly,” the turtle repeated. “You see, I seem to have gotten lost.”

“Who do you belong to?” asked the cat.

“I don’t belong to anyone, sir,” said the turtle, slightly offended. “I’m a free turtle.”

“A free turtle?” asked the cat with a frown. “You mean… you’ve walked all the way here from the ocean?”

“The ocean?” asked the turtle, licking her lips delightedly. “You mean to tell me there’s an ocean nearby?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. But then you probably already knew that, seeing as you come from there.”

“Oh, no. I’ve never seen the ocean in my life, cat.”

“Brutus,” said the cat.

“Nice to meet you, Brutus. My name is Pinkie.”

“So if you weren’t born in the ocean, what do you call home?”

“The pond, of course,” said Pinkie, wondering if all cats were as slow on the uptake as this one.

“Pond? What pond?”

“Well,the pond. Is there any other?”

And seeing as this cat named Brutus hadn’t even heard of the pond before, Pinkie figured she might as well return to her slow but sure-footed progress in the direction of wherever it was that her tiny feet were taking her.

“Wait,” said Brutus. “Where are you going?”

“You clearly have no idea where the pond is, Brutus,” said the tiny turtle, “so I’m guessing you don’t know where the ocean is, either.”

“Oh, I know where the ocean is, all right.”

“You do?”

“Of course.”

She mulled this over for a moment.“Would you mind taking me there, Brutus?”

“Um… yeah. Yeah, why not?”

Pinkie smiled. She was a sociable turtle, and appreciated all creatures, great and small.“Thank you, Brutus.” She then glanced around and noticed the nice backyard, the nice house, and wondered why a cat would want to leave all that behind to go on a trip with a turtle he barely knew. “Don’t you like it here anymore, Brutus?”

“Oh, I like it, I do. But my girlfriend wants to put me on a diet of carrots, and between you and me I’m not all that crazy about carrots, so I figured I might as well lay low for a little while, until this latest craze of hers passes—they tend to pass pretty quickly.”

“Plenty of food in the ocean,” Pinkie said.

“You think?” said Brutus hopefully.

“Oh, sure. Plankton, seaweed, algae, sponges, worms… A regular all-you-can-eat buffet.”

Brutus gulped a little. He didn’t seem to share Pinkie’s excitement for seeking out the ocean, the source of all life, but Pinkie didn’t mind. She was sure that Brutus would grow to love the ocean as much as she did. First they had to get there, of course. But she wasn’t in any kind of hurry—turtles rarely are. And they’d walked about a foot in ten minutes when Brutus said, “This’ll take forever. Why don’t I ask one of my humans to take us?”

And so it was that Pinkie was safely seated on the front seat of a nice car, a little old lady behind the wheel, Brutus in the back, the three of them on their way to the ocean.

Life, Pinkie thought as she happily hummed a merry tune, was pretty darn fun.

Chapter 3

“What is a fitness guru, Max?” asked Dooley.

“I think this guy is one, Dooley,” I said.

We both sat staring at this new arrival, this star who’d suddenly graced us with his star-studded presence. Odelia and Chase certainly were still in awe, judging from their slack-jawed appearance, and their unusual reluctance to utter a single intelligent word.