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“I agree. So we need to up our game and come up with a solution. And that solution is… an app!” said Gran with an air of ‘ta-dah!’

“An app,” said Scarlett with a frown.

“An app! Apps are all the rage, hon!”

“I know they’re all the rage, but we don’t know the first thing about app development. In fact sometimes I have a hard time using the apps on my phone.”

“And that’s where Kevin comes in.”

“Kevin? As in my grandnephew Kevin?”

“Exactly! He’s the computer nerd in the family, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“So? He can build us an app that can talk to this database… thingie.”

“I guess so. But I still don’t see…”

“That’s because I haven’t told you the best part yet.”

“Which is?”

“We develop an app and we give it some cool name. Like iCat or whatever. Some name that is easy to remember. And once we have it—we promote the hell out of it, and bingo!”

“Bingo?”

“We sell it to one of the big boys and become millionaires!”

“You lost me again, hon.”

Gran sighed, like one who has to contend with lesser minds than her own. Einstein probably had to deal with this kind of thing all the time.“Okay, so cats spy for us, see?”

“I’m with you so far.”

“Hundreds of cats, or even thousands. Covering the entire Hampton Cove territory. There won’t be an inch of this town we won’t be able to monitor through their eyes.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Now all of those cats will be equipped with smart collars—audio and video included—sending their data back to a database where it’s all collected and analyzed and sent to our app, courtesy of Kevin.”

“Oh… kay,” said Scarlett, sounding dubious about her grandnephew’s capacity to build such an amazing app, but still prepared to give the plan the benefit of the doubt.

“So then the system automatically comes up with the threats that need to be addressed: burglaries in progress, domestic disputes, drunks tearing up the neighborhood, vandals spraying graffiti on town hall… what have you.”

“Car thieves breaking into cars, jealous men keying their neighbors’ new Jaguar,” said Scarlett, getting the gist of the thing.

“Exactly! And that information is then automatically sent to us, and either we go after the criminals, or we liaise with the police and they send a couple of officers to deal with the crime, while it isstill in progress,” she said, stressing this last part by pounding the table with a bony fist, making her hot chocolate drink and Scarlett’s cappuccino jump merrily up and down to the beat of Gran’s pretty excitement.

“That all sounds wonderful,” said Scarlett. “But I’m not sure how feasible it is.”

“It’s perfectly feasible. On one condition and one condition only.”

“And what is that?”

“That the people handling the data are well-versed in the feline language. I mean, how else are they going to be able to interpret what all of those thousands of cats are saying?”

“Oh,” said Scarlett, and her face sagged.

“What?”

“You know I can’t talk cat, honey.”

“Yes, I know that, but there’s no reason why you can’t learn.”

Scarlett frowned.“You mean…”

“Exactly! With my help, and the assistance of my four precious darlings here, I’m sure you’ll be able to pick up the language in no time. And then it’s simply a matter of taking turns manning GHQ and coordinating the whole thing.”

“Oh, I would love to learn their language,” said Scarlett, giving me a pat on the head, which I responded to by giving her a soft purr in return. I like Scarlett, always have, even when she and Gran were archenemies and fought tooth and nail at every opportunity.

“I’ll teach her, Gran,” said Harriet. “After all, this was my idea in the first place.”

“I know it was your idea, Harriet,” said Gran, giving the prissy Persian a tickle under her chin. “And definitely one of your better ones.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course! We could wipe out crime in the whole country if we get this thing rolling.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice,” said Dooley. “No more crime anywhere.”

“It would also mean that there wouldn’t be cops anymore,” Brutus pointed out, “which would mean that Chase and Uncle Alec would be out of a job.”

“I doubt it,” said Harriet. “There will still have to be cops to respond to the tips they receive from the Neighborhood Cat Watch.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Brutus admitted.

“Crime will only disappear as long as we remain vigilant, sugar pants. Those criminals will always be criminals, and they’ll still want to engage in their acts of criminal activity. It’s us who will stand in their way, and so vigilance is key.” She turned to Gran. “Did you mention something about us becoming millionaires, Gran?”

“Well, as soon as the app is working the way it should, we’ll get a lot of attention. And you know what that means, right?”

“That… I’ll need to have new pictures taken?”