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“I think I speak for every member of cat choir when I tell you that we all like your solos, Harriet,” said Shanille. “Isn’t that right, Kingman?”

“Mh? What? Oh, yeah, sure. Absolutely. Lovely solos. Just lovely.”

“You have a wonderful singing voice,” said Shanille. “And you should be proud of it.”

“Thanks, Shanille,” said Harriet, sounding surprised. “That’s… very nice of you to say.”

“I mean it. Have you tried the stage?”

“Yes, I have,” said Harriet. “It wasn’t a great success.”

“You should try again. I think you’ll find that with practice you’ll do great.”

“Thanks,” said Harriet, clearly moved.

“That gnome is staring at me, Max,” said Dooley, pointing to a fat gnome in front of us.

“That gnome is just a piece of painted plaster, Dooley,” I said. Though my friend was right. The gnome was, indeed, staring at us. With a flicker of malice in its eyes. Creepy!

“I heard Dan Goory is still in jail?” said Kingman.

“Yeah, it looks like he just might be the killer after all,” I said.

“Odelia isn’t happy about it,” Brutus grunted. “It probably will cost her her job.”

“It’s not because of her job that she’s unhappy,” said Harriet. “It’s because Dan is a friend, and she finds it hard to believe one of her friends could be a killer.”

“I find it hard to believe, too,” said Shanille. “Father Reilly was saying just the other day how Dan is one of the most upstanding citizens in this town, and now this. It’s terrible—simply terrible.”

“Wilbur said just the opposite,” said Kingman. “I heard him tell several of his customers how he’s always thought there was something fishy about Dan. Something evil.”

“You shouldn’t listen to Wilbur, Kingman,” said Shanille. “He is what Father Reilly likes to call a fallible human.”

“All humans are fallible, though,” said Harriet. “Well, they are,” she insisted when Kingman groaned. “They all make mistakes, but most of them try to learn from their mistakes, which makes them admirable in my book.”

See? What did I tell you? These stakeouts bring out the philosopher in all of us.

“I hope Elsa has managed to get rid of the mice,” said Brutus. “Otherwise this night will have been a complete waste of time.”

“Oh, I think you’ll find that Elsa will keep her promise,” I said. “She’s an absolute marvel.”

“Who’s this Elsa?” asked Shanille.

“She’s a mouse Max met,” Brutus grunted. “She’s going to get rid of the mice in the basement.”

Kingman laughed at this.“You got a mouse to get rid of your mice? That’s probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!”

“It’s not ridiculous,” I said, feeling slightly offended by this slight. “In fact I think it’s brilliant. Who else but a mouse knows how to get under another mouse’s skin? It’s all about psychology, Kingman.”

“Yeah, it’s all about psychology,” Dooley echoed. “And speaking about psychology, did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi and the shrink?”

Unfortunately the punchline of Dooley’s joke would have to wait for a more opportune time, as suddenly there was a loud crashing sound nearby, and two people jumped the hedge and landed right in front of Dooley and me. They were both clad in black from head to toe, and were carrying black plastic bags, and before I knew what was happening, they were tearing gnomes out of the ground and dumping them into the bags.

“Max! What do we do?!” Dooley cried.

“Um… we attack!” I said, though I wasn’t exactly sure if this was the right strategy. Humans, you see, are a lot bigger than cats, and on top of that I didn’t know if these blackguards were armed or not.

Still, we’d been recruited to the neighborhood watch to serve and protect, so serve and protect we were going to do to the best of our limited abilities!

I jumped on top of one of the thieves, while Dooley dug his claws into the thief’s ankles. Harriet and Brutus applied the same technique to the second sneak thief, while Kingman and Shanille followed suit, dividing their labor equally amongst the two men—for that was what they were.

So the state of affairs was thus: I was on the back of one of the men, my claws dug in nice and deep, Dooley had his claws into the man’s left calf, and Shanille had climbed the man like a tree and was now on top of his head, holding on for dear life as he screamed at the top of his lungs and thrashed about like a crazy person.

Next to us, the same picture held true, only there both Kingman and Harriet had selected the man’s shoulders as their point of attack, while Brutus had found nothing better than to dig his teeth and claws into the man’s buttocks.

Yikes. Not a pleasant prospect, either for the man, or for poor Brutus!

Soon, though, reinforcements appeared on the scene, in the form of Gran, Scarlett, Father Reilly and Wilbur Vickery. With some effort they managed to subdue both men, and pin them to the ground, effectively rendering our efforts superfluous.