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The famous actress smiled.“Maria Power is a recluse, but I’m not. I’ve always been a social person, and I like to be out and about. The only problem with being a legend is that you can’t socialize the way you used to. People act funny around you. So I invented poor horse-faced Jacqueline. You’d be surprised how nice people are when you look like this.” She gestured to her face. “And I had a lot of fun pretending to be someone I’m not. I am an actress, after all, and I like to think that Jacqueline was my greatest performance.”

Suddenly behind Maria a figure appeared, and as the actress raised the gun once more, and her finger started to squeeze the trigger, some heavy object came down upon her head, and before she could fire a fatal bullet, her eyes turned up in her head and she dropped to the floor.

Gran, for it was her, held up the garden gnome with which she’d knocked out the actress, and bent down to feel her pulse. “She’ll live,” she said simply, and rose to her feet. “Oh, honey. You really should stop putting yourself in these dangerous situations.”

Marge now also came barging in, followed by Tex, Chase, Uncle Alec and Charlene Butterwick. They all stared at the prostrate figure on the floor, and at Gran, who was holding up the gnome triumphantly.

“I never liked gnomes, but I have to admit they can come in very handy indeed!”

Epilogue

“You’re much more cheerful, Max,” said Dooley. “I like it very much.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said. In fact I hadn’t been able to stop smiling all day.

“It’s my jokes, isn’t it? My jokes have put you in a good mood again.”

“Um…”

“It’s very important. You have to keep laughing. It’s the only way to beat the cancer.”

I stared at my friend.“Cancer? What cancer?”

“The brain cancer. The only cure is laughing. All the experts agree on this.”

“Dooley, I don’t have cancer.”

“But you’ve been looking so sad these past couple of days.”

“Because of Hector and Helga turning our house into a dump and eating all of our food, and Odelia being so upset with me. And now that they’re gone, I’m happy again.”

Dooley studied me for a moment.“So… you never had cancer?”

“No, I never had cancer, Dooley.”

Now it was his turn to smile.“That makes me happy.”

“Which in turn makes me happy.”

“Oh, could you guys cut it out already?” said Harriet, who can never stand too much happiness in one gulp.

We were sitting in our usual place, on the porch swing, while all around us a family feast was in full swing. Tex was manning the barbecue, his tongue sticking out of his mouth from the effort he was putting into the thing, and it had to be said, the man was steadily improving. He’d probably never be Guy Fieri but at least the food was edible.

“You still haven’t explained what happened,” said Harriet, who hated to be kept in the dark.

“Well, Jacqueline Goossens was in fact Maria Power, cleverly disguised so she could mingle with the common people, as she probably saw it.”

“And to commit the odd murder,” Brutus grunted.

“So Maria Power, famous Maria Power, is a killer?” asked Harriet, surprised.

“Yes, she is, and she almost killed Odelia,” I said.

“Let’s not linger on that,” said Marge, who’d joined us for a moment so she could dispense some of her husband’s cooking. “Odelia is safe and sound and so are all of us.”

“And Dan?” asked Harriet. “Is he all right?”

“Yeah, my brother released him from prison as soon as Maria confessed, and he’s already rustling up bids from respective publishers who are all clamoring for his autobiography. He’s calling it, ‘Scenes from the Slammer.’” Marge smiled. “I’m sure it’ll be a bestseller.”

“Of course I always knew Dan was innocent,” said Uncle Alec now, as he addressed the others. “But what could I do? All the evidence pointed against the guy.”

“You thought he was guilty, Alec,” said Charlene. “Admit it.”

“Well, yes, at first I did, and then I didn’t… and then I did. It’s complicated,” he said in a blustering kind of way, and helped himself to another piece of steak, which Charlene immediately removed from his plate and returned to sender.

When he gave her a look of astonishment, she patted his belly.“I like you very much, my pet, and therefore I hope to have you with us for a very long time to come. And if you keep digging your grave with your teeth like that, that’s not going to happen, is it now?”

“I guess not,” he grumbled, looking distinctly unhappy.

“I think if Charlene keeps taking Uncle Alec’s plate away like that, their relationship isn’t going to last very long,” Brutus remarked.

“He doesn’t look happy,” Dooley said thoughtfully. “Do you think he’s got cancer?”

“Oh, Dooley!” Harriet cried. “Enough already with the cancer!”

Dooley gave her a slightly offended frown, then tucked into his own bowl of goodies, which, I can happily report, were in no immediate danger of being stolen by a horde of voracious and frankly very disrespectful mice.

“What’s going to happen to Hector and Helga?” asked Harriet, as if she’d read my mind.