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Dooley blinked. It was obvious he wasn’t fully on board with my plan. Heck, I wasn’t fully on board with my plan, and it was my own plan! This man had featured in my nightmare, stringing up a cat and threatening to eat it, so I wasn’t exactly eager to make his acquaintance. But we couldn’t stand idly by and watch him burgle theroom, either.

So with a loud meow, I burst onto the scene.

The man looked up, startled at the sight and sound of yours truly. What he didn’t do, though, even though I’d hoped he would, was turn tail and run to the nearest exit.

Instead, he growled,“Get lost, you filthy animal.”

Now if there’s one thing I don’t like it’s to be called a filthy animal. Like most cats I take pride in my sense of personal hygiene. I primp, I prink, and sometimes I even preen.

“I’m not a filthy animal,” I told the man. “You’re the filthy animal. Coming in here and stealing Odelia’s tablet.”

But he wasn’t to be deterred. I guess that’s where dogs have it easier. If they’re big enough, and loud enough, they can scare any burglarious individual away simply by stepping onto the scene. Whereas cats have that cuddly, endearing image going for them. Not exactly the way to go when faced with an element of the criminal classes.

It was at this moment that Dooley finally overcame his natural tendency towards timidity, and leaped onto the scene with a loud hiss, his tail distended and his back arched.

“Yikes!” the intruder yelped at the sight of my friend. But instead of beating a retreat, as any sane man would have done, he still found the time to check Odelia’s tablet.

“It’s not working, Max,” said Dooley. “He doesn’t seem to be impressed.”

“I think we have to attack, Dooley,” I said.

“Attack?”

“Yeah, claws out and attack!” I instructed, leading by example.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been attacked by a cat? I can assure you it’s not a pleasant experience. We may be cuddly and cute, renowned for our lovable persona and sweet-natured companionship, but when the gloves are off, we can do some real damage.

It’s all in the claws, you see. They’re pretty sharp, and when applied with precision and intent, can dig deep in places you wouldn’t expect.

Like someone’s thigh.

So as Dooley attacked the man’s right thigh, and I dug my claws into the left, the man screamed both in surprise and agony, as he desperately tried to dislodge us from his person.

I wasn’t to be deterred, though, and neither was Dooley. My friend may be the sweetest cat on the planet, but once he’s going well, it’s hard to make him stop.

And it was as I clawed my way up from the man’s thigh to his nether regions, pretty much treating the intruder like I would a tree or scratching post, that he threw in the towel, and with a blood-curdling scream—his blood, not mine—made for the door, hindered somewhat by two cats dangling from the lower strata of his corpus.

As he reached the door, he made a swiping motion with his hands, and sent both myself and Dooley flying, but not before a ripping sound indicated we’d done our bit, turning his nice jeans into mere strips of torn fabric flapping around the man’s legs.

As is our wont, we landed on our feet, and watched with a measure of satisfaction as the man slammed the door, after hurling a certain measure of abuse in our direction.

Sticks and stones, though, right? And at least we’d achieved our objective: Odelia’s personal possessions had been safeguarded, and Scarface had been outfitted with a few more scars for his collection.

“My heart,” said Dooley, panting as loudly as I did. “It’s beating so fast, Max!”

“Yeah, that’s normal,” I said. My heart was practically hammering through my chest, too. “It’s the adrenaline,” I told Dooley.

“It tastes funny,” said Dooley now, as he licked his claw.

“That’s blood,” I said.

Dooley gulped a little.“Blood!”

But before we could thresh the matter out more thoroughly, the room door opened again, and this time Odelia and Chase walked in. And as we regaled them with the story of our recent heroics, Odelia didn’t look happy. Not happy at all. Nor could I blame her. If strange men with scarred faces enter your room not once but twice in a short space of time, it’s enough to give you pause.

Of course, we were in a strange town in a strange country. It was entirely possible that breaking into rooms to go through people’s personal possessions and taking pictures while they’re sleeping is some sort of local custom. All part of the Bangkok experience.

Though somehow, judging from Odelia’s reaction, and Chase’s, I didn’t think so.

Chapter 14

Odelia and Chase didn’t have time to investigate the breakin properly, as at eleven on the dot they were expected downstairs in the lobby. Surrounded by cameras, the four couples were expected to enact the second scene of the sixth season of Passion Island: the teary goodbye.