Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

“But your ancestor never had much use for other people’s rules. He drank from the spring. He should have died screaming. Instead, it granted him unearthly strength and stamina. He became greatly feared as the chosen consort of the Goddess and built his fortress upon this spot.

“When Vlad the Blasphemous first brewed the Jägerdraught, he used water from the spring as a key ingredient.

“Egregious Heterodyne decided that the spring was too small and set out to increase its flow. That was when the river Dyne came to be. It was also when the first Castle was destroyed.”

“The years when the Dyne flowed unchecked placed the family’s mark on this area for all time.” The Castle paused for a private chuckle, then continued. “It was Faustus Heterodyne who learned to spin a powerful energy from the waters. He was able to use this energy to create marvels undreamed of by earlier Heterodynes. His crowning achievement was, of course, myself.

“I am afraid I require everything that can be wrung from the spring. Beyond this chamber, the waters of the Dyne no longer produce any interesting effects at all. Now the water can be drunk and safely harnessed by practically anybody. Ah, well, but that is outside. Here at the source, I would advise you to stay clear.”

Von Zinzer leaned on an ornate, trilobite-decked rail and watched the water as it flowed through the channel. “So—drink the water here and you become a Jäger?”

“Oh, dear me, no,” the Castle laughed. “Drink the water here and you die!” It laughed again. “Of course, drink the Jägerdraught and you’ll most likely die as well. But, even if you don’t, the water is only the start of the process. You should ask my lady to try it on you, once she’s got the time.”

Von Zinzer stared at the water below. “No, thanks.”

The Castle broke into another nasty laugh.

Professor Mezzasalma stood near a row of ancient vacuum tubes that stretched off into the darkness. “And all of this bric-a-brac is necessary to extract the power from the waters?”

“Of course not. The systems in the Great Movement Chamber serve many functions. There are thousands of systems and devices whose motive force originates here. Or did, rather, when everything was functioning…why, the bird baths alone require several dedicated steam turbines. All those little brushes, you know.”

Gil and Tarvek had found a good spot and were, together, slowly pivoting in place as they looked around. When they returned to their starting place, the two men glanced at each other and scowled.

“I don’t even know where to start,” Tarvek confessed.

“This can’t be all of it,” Gil said. He waved towards the broken paddlewheel. “This thing has been broken for quite awhile, yet the Castle still has power.”

“There’s obviously some sort of voltaic pile, but to run a place like this…”

Gil grinned. “Oh yeah, I can’t wait to see it.” They walked back to Agatha. She had her back to them, staring at the hole in the floor and dabbing her cheeks with a handkerchief. “It’s your Castle, Agatha. Where should we go next?”

“Hm?” She turned towards them, blinking. Gil and Tarvek gasped. Agatha’s skin was a bright emerald green. “Sorry,” she said. “I’m feeling a bit—” She saw their stares and glanced at her hand. “Ooh. That’s bad.”

Tarvek turned to Gil. “No! She wasn’t hooked up to us! How is this even possible?”

Gil crossed his arms. The purple of his skin deepened. “I knew it. You did kiss him.”

Tarvek looked surprised. “She—what? I don’t remember that!”

Agatha’s blush turned her skin slate-grey. “What would that have to do with anything?” she asked hotly.

Gil indicated his now magenta skin. “I’m just replicating symptoms because of the Si Vales Valeo process.” He pointed at Tarvek. “But he’s actually infectious! You put your mouth on his dirty, diseased skin!”

Tarvek glared at Gil. “I would have used better words than that.” He turned to scold Agatha. “But he’s right. You’ve shown a shocking disregard for basic medical safety.”

Gil pointed to Tarvek. “What he said!”

Tarvek continued in a gentler voice. “I can’t say I’m not touched, but when in the lab, it can be very dangerous to yield to one’s romantic impulses—”

Gil rolled his eyes. “Oh, you’re definitely ‘touched’ all right,” he told Tarvek.

“—No matter how difficult it is to resist.”

Gil shook his head. “Before we die of this,” he said conversationally, “I am going to kill you.”

“Stop it,” Agatha said. “We’re not beaten. We can still do this. We’ll find a sufficient power source, and finish the Si Vales Valeo. I’ll just hook myself into the circuit as well.”

The two young men stared at her. Tarvek glanced at Gil. “Well… theoretically…”

Gil shook his head. “I don’t think anyone has ever made something like that work.”

Agatha poked him in the chest. “We’ll make it work.”