Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 34, No. 13 & 14, Winter 1989

Tall Tommy grins me a cat’s whisker-licking grin. “And what does a good wine steward do when he takes a bottle out of storage for presentation?”

I looked over at Jack Mac. “You wiped the bottle clean?”

“Just to get rid of the dust, Chick,” he said sheepishly. Now he tells me!

“And being so neat, you only held it by the sleeve while wrapping it. So the bottle and sleeve found by the cops were from my cellar, and Lisa took the original with her...”

“Leaving the hypo-injected cork behind her, of course, to make it complete.”

“How did you figure it out, Tall Tommy?”

“You just have to understand a liar’s mentality, Chick.”

It was a few days later — the day the mortgage payment was due — when I sat in the bar lounge waiting for Jay Porter to return any of my many phone calls.

“He won’t call,” Barry grumped.

“Why not? I kept my end of the deal.”

“The hell you did. You tried to pin a murder rap on his wife and her cousin. You’re some genius.”

“Before Ruker could get to mention the criminal conversation scheme, Dunn blew up all the evidence with the damn boat being a lemon. It was Tall Tommy bringing in the confession that opened up the fact that Gina spent a weekend with Jay Porter.”

“Which Mrs. P. couldn’t blame him for. It was a scheme. He won’t call because he smelled a rat.”

A voice says to Cuz, “Metaxa and beer,” and I turn to Tall Tommy climbing onto the stool next to mine.

“Hello, Sergeant Tanuka,” I said.

“You know, this Jaffee character is still making noise over that. I am on a mission, Chick.” He places an envelope on the bar. “It was no easy task, but I got ten iron men for you out of J. P. Pemberton. Five for your mortgage, five for your trouble. Also, stop calling him, he does not like you henceforth.”

“La-dee-dah. What did he lay on you for all that detective work, sarge?”

“You are looking at an executive of Pemberton Enterprises.”

“Security.”

“Hell, no. I’m director of public relations.”

“It figures, for a ligner of ligners,” moans Barry.

“So I’m really on the list, huh?”

“I’d give it a double yes, Chick. Well, I’ve got to be on the amble, friends. The public needs relating. By the way, Chick, did you figure out why I was bothered about Gina’s not spending the weekend at the Plaza? If she had, by the way, she might still be alive.”

“Yeah, I figured maybe she didn’t want to cheapen our relationship with a quick shack-up. Sort of old fashioned morality, Tall Tommy, but to tell you the truth, it might have been a lie.”

“See, Chick, you’re learning all the time.” He ankled.