Английский разговорный шутя. 100 самых смешных анекдотов на лучшие разговорные темы

It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are visiting the local zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless, with straps.

As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla begins to go ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and two feet), grunts, and pounds his chest with his free hand. The gorilla is obviously excited at seeing the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow by puckering her lips, wiggling her bottom… play along.

She does, and Mr Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall.

She does, and Mr Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down! The husband then suggests that she try lifting her dress up her thighs. This drives the poor gorilla absolutely crazy.

Then quickly the husband grabs his wife, rips open the door to the cage, flings her in with the gorilla and says, «Now tell HIM you have a headache.»

Study the words and expressions given below:

to wear носить (одежду)

cute милый, славный

loose свободный

to fit подходить по размеру (об одежде)

loose-fitting свободного покроя

pink розовый

sleeveless без рукавов

strap тесьма, лямка

аре обезьяна

exhibit выставка, экспозиция

аре exhibit обезьянник

gorilla горилла

bars решетка

to grunt ворчать, сердиться

to pound колотить

chest грудь; грудная клетка

obviously очевидно

to notice замечать

excitement возбуждение

to suggest предлагать

to tease дразнить

poor бедный

fellow парень

to pucker морщить (губы), складывать (губы) в гримаску

to lift поднимать

thigh бедро

to drive двигать, понуждать

crazy сумасшедший, чокнутый

to grab хватать, захватывать

to rip рвать; раскрывать

to fling толкать, бросать

to wiggle one's bottom крутить задом

to go ape обезьянничать

to play along играть до конца

to wake the dead разбудить мертвого

to tear the bars down сносить решетку

to drive sb crazy сводить кого-л. с ума

Exercises to the text

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. What sort of a dress was the wife wearing?

2. How did the gorilla start to behave when the couple was passing its cage?

3. What was the ape excited by?

4. What did the husband suggest that his wife do when he noticed the gorilla's excitement?

5. What did the husband suggest she do with the straps of her dress?

6. What drove the poor gorilla absolutely crazy?

7. Do you think the wife had really had many headaches?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. A man and his wife are visiting the _______ zoo.

2. She's wearing a cute, _______ dress.

3. They walk through the _______ exhibit.

4. The gorilla is _______ excited at seeing the lady.

5. The man suggests that his wife _______ the poor fellow.

6. Then the husband suggests that she _______ one of her straps fall.

7. This drives the gorilla absolutely _______.

3. Say if the statements are true or false:

1. As they pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla falls asleep.

2. The gorilla is obviously excited at seeing the pretty lady in the pink dress.

3. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.

4. Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would kill the alive.

5. This drives the poor gorilla away.

6. The husband grabs the gorilla, rips open the door to the cage, and flings her in with the wife.

4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. На ней красивое, свободного покроя платье без рукавов, на лямках.

2. Горилла начинает обезьянничать.

3. Горилла явно возбуждена при виде дамы в розовом платье.

4. Муж предлагает жене подразнить бедного парня.

5. Он производит шум, который разбудил бы и мертвого.

6. Горилла готова снести решетки.

7. Он быстро хватает ее и толкает в клетку.

Revise English Grammar

В сложных предложениях с союзом that (The husband suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow…, Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall… и The husband then suggests that she try lifting her dress up her thighs…) мы сталкиваемся с одним из так называемых глаголов «побуждения к действию», использование которых подчиняется особому правилу.