Английский шутя. Английские и американские анекдоты для начального чтения

The cop approaches the car and says (полицейский подходит к машине и говорит), "It's been a long day (был длинный день) and my tour is almost over (и моя смена почти закончилась), so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go (и если вы можете представить мне целесообразное оправдание вашему поведению, я отпущу вас; behavior [bɪˈheɪvjǝ])."

The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says (думает несколько секунд и затем говорит), "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago (моя жена сбежала с полицейским около недели назад). I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back! (я подумал, что вы, возможно: «можете быть» тот офицер, пытающийся вернуть ее)"

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.

The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."

The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride with an experienced partner (новичок-полицейский был на своем первом дежурстве: «в своем первом рейде, выезде») с опытным напарником; experience — опыт [ɪksˈpɪǝrɪǝns]). A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering (поступил сигнал, говорящий им разогнать людей, которые слонялись без дела).

The officers drove to the street (приехали на улицу /to drive-drove-driven/) and observed a small crowd standing on a corner (и заметили небольшую толпу, стоящую на углу; to observe — наблюдать).

The rookie rolled down his window (опустил: «открутил вниз» стекло) and said, "Let's get off the corner people (давайте-ка уйдем с угла, народ)."

A few glances, but no one moved (несколько взглядов, но никто не сдвинулся), so he barked again (снова рявкнул; to bark — лаять), "Let's get off that corner… NOW! (сейчас же)"

Intimidated (испугавшись), the group of people began to leave (группа людей начала расходиться), casting puzzled stares (бросая озадаченные взгляды) in his direction (в его сторону).

Proud of his first official act (гордый своим первым служебным действием, поступком), the young policeman turned to his partner and asked (молодой полицейский повернулся к своему напарнику и спросил), "Well, how did I do? (ну, как я проделал /это/)"

"Pretty good (очень хорошо)," chuckled the vet (захихикал "бывалый"; vet = veteran), "especially since this is a bus stop (особенно если учесть, что это автобусная остановка: "особенно поскольку это автобусная остановка")."

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.

The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people."

A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner… NOW!"

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.

Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"

"Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop."

Pretty good.