Black Chalk

‘That’s all it was,’ said Jack. He paused for a moment and then, with a jolt as if coming out of a daydream, he looked up at Jolyon and waved the empty envelope. ‘So if anyone’s taking bets, my money’s on you. Good luck, Jolyon,’ he said, and then he extended his hand.

They shook and Jack slid off the bar stool and began to work his way through the crowd. And then Jolyon, a strange feeling inside him, looked down at his hand. He frowned and picked up his change and the drinks from the bar. And then he realised it was the first time he and Jack had ever shaken hands.

LIV(iv) It was hard for Chad to find a moment when Jolyon and Dee were not together and his feelings built and built, his sense of anger fermenting.

It was not until five days had passed that the two of them were alone together. They were in the Churchill Arms, Dee having left for the library, a tutorial in three hours’ time and her essay not yet finished.

As Dee departed, Jolyon felt a waft of discontent, a weight in the air around him. He took a gulp of his beer and decided it was safe to confide in Chad. ‘Chad, do you mind if I tell you something?’ he said. ‘The thing is I, well, I’m just going through a bit of a difficult time right now, you know?’

Chad looked sour. ‘I think you’ll live, Jolyon,’ he said.

Jolyon felt pricked by the response. How many times had he listened to Chad unburden himself? ‘I know I’ll live,’ he said sharply, ‘Obviously I’m not saying I think I’m about to die, Chad.’

‘Shut the hell up, Jolyon.’ Chad sounded weary. He took a large drink, leaned back and glowered at his glass.

Jolyon took a small sip of beer. He picked up his cigarettes and lit one.

Chad waited and waited but Jolyon only smoked and enough was enough. And so Chad began to shout. ‘It’s a goddamn conflict of interest.’ It was a restrained shout, a voice half raised in a crowded place. ‘It’s an injustice, Jolyon.’

‘OK,’ said Jolyon, nodding and blowing his smoke. ‘What is?’ he said.

‘You and Dee together,’ said Chad. ‘There are three left in the Game and two of them are now screwing, so how exactly is that reasonable? Tell me one thing that won’t make me feel like I’m being cheated, I’m pretty confident it can’t be done.’

Jolyon looked down and thought hard. ‘OK then,’ he said, not feeling any appetite for a fight. ‘Yes, I can see what you mean.’

‘So what the hell are you going to do about it?’ said Chad.

Jolyon considered the problem, taking several drags from his cigarette. ‘I think . . .’ he said, ‘No, I would certainly like to think that you trust me. Because I would never take advantage of any relationship outside of the Game. I promise you, Chad.’ Jolyon marked his solemnity by putting out his unfinished cigarette, pushing its stub in the ashtray until it bent in two. Then he looked up at Chad.

Chad met his friend’s look and Jolyon thought that soon they would buy more drinks and everything would be right between them again. But instead Chad tore himself free of Jolyon’s gaze and exhaled hard as if he had been holding his breath. ‘Jesus, Jolyon, that’s just not good enough. You promise? Sure then, well, that’s me totally over the moon.’

‘Look, I’ve promised you, Chad. What else can I do? What happened between me and Dee can’t be undone.’

‘It was bad enough with Emilia,’ said Chad, ‘but at least that was only two out of six. Two out of three is a way bigger problem, Jolyon. A majority, it’s an outrage.’

Jolyon was shifting uncomfortably in his seat but he chose to say nothing.

‘It’s way beneath you as well,’ Chad said. ‘I can’t believe that you of all people would pull a stunt like that.’

Jolyon jerked back his head. ‘A stunt?’ he said. ‘You don’t actually think me sleeping with Dee is some kind of tactic, do you, Chad? I really don’t care about winning so much that I’d whore myself just to score a few points.’

Chad said nothing, only looked away.

‘Exactly what is it you think I should do?’ said Jolyon. ‘Why don’t you tell me your solution, Chad?’

‘OK then,’ said Chad. ‘You have to break it off.’

The response made Jolyon’s body twitch. ‘Break up with Dee?’ he said, blinking hard. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Chad.’ Now Jolyon was loud. ‘I mean, if that’s what you think, you can really go fuck yourself.’

‘Then I’ll break it off,’ said Chad.

‘How can you break it off?’ Jolyon leaned in across the table, his restraints beginning to snap. ‘This is between me and Dee and you’re not invited. No matter how much you’d like it, Chad, it’s not a ménage à trois.’

‘That’s absolute crap, Jolyon. That’s screwed up in the head.’

‘I saw how you used to look at Emilia,’ said Jolyon, leaning back in his chair. ‘And recently I’ve seen you start to look at Dee the same way.’

‘Well, if that’s what you believe, Jolyon,’ said Chad, ‘if that’s what you truly think, then why the heck would you go right ahead and sleep with them both? If we’re supposed to be friends then tell me exactly what kind of a friend would do that?’