Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy

Friday 19 October 2012

Texts from Leatherjacketman 1, encouraging-in-any-way texts from Leatherjacketman 0, words of screenplay written 0.

10 a.m. Leatherjacketman:

Saturday 27 October 2012

No communication from Leatherjacketman.

Sunday 28 October 2012

DO NOT TEXT AT ODD TIMES OF DAY OR NIGHT IN MANNER OF STALKER

5.30 a.m. Maybe will text Leatherjacketman!

One soul reaching out to another, I thought, amid the smouldering remains of the silly old mess we’d accidentally created, like silly billies in the midst of a deep unbreakable connection: Leonardo da Vinci’s Adam reaching out, in that painting, for God’s fingertips.

Friday 2 November 2012

Possibilities of anything ever happening with male of species again 0.

11.30 a.m. Text from Leatherjacketman.

And that was the end of that.

‘You have to laugh about it,’ said Talitha. ‘Don’t let him have possession of your self-esteem. Or your sexual viability. Or anything.’

Clearly, however, something had to be done.

INTENSIVE DATING STUDY

Night after night, when the children were in bed, I studied, as if for an Open University course on how to get off with people. The children seemed to sense that a great project was in the works, and treated it with appropriate respect. Mabel, when she burst into my bedroom at midnight, clutching Saliva and saying she’d had a nasty dream, would whisper, ‘Exthcuthe me, Mummy, but a giant ant ith eatin’ my ear,’ whilst peeping respectfully from the tangle of hair, at the piles of epic tomes all over the bed. I did of course tweet as I went along, increasing my Twitter followers to a staggering 437.

Bibliography:

I started with my historical archive – the obvious classics from my thirties:

* Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

* Finding the Love You Want

* Letting Love Find You

* What Men Want

* What Men Secretly Want

* What Men Really Want

* What Men Actually Want

* How Men Think

* What Men Think About When Not Thinking About Sex

But somehow it just wasn’t enough. I went on Amazon and there were seventy-five pages of dating self-help books to choose from.

* The Single Trap: The Two-step Guide to Escaping It and Finding Lasting Love

* The Three Most Successful Online Dating Profiles Ever

* Quadruple Your Dating

* It Takes All 5: A Single Mom’s Guide to Finding the Real One

* Make Him Beg to Be Your Boyfriend in 6 Simple Steps

* 100% Love: 7 Steps to Scientifically Find the True Love of Your Life

* Fearless Love: 8 Simple Rules That Will Change the Way You Date, Mate and Relate

* The Love Laws: 9 Essential Rules for Lasting, Loving Partnership

* 10 Dating Lessons from

Sex and the City