Continental Drift

“No, thanks.” Bob is dressed, as usual, in chinos and white tee shirt, and tonight he’s got his captain’s hat on. He takes a sip of beer. “No, that’s okay. I had a lot to do anyhow the last couple of days, with the funeral and all. And then I had a party of six this morning to take out. This’s the first chance I’ve had to sit still for more’n ten minutes.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t get back till real late last night. And then I had some business to take care of today, so, yeah, me too,” Ave says. He studies the pelicans a second, as if aiming a weapon at their long, drooping heads. “You know how I feel about Eddie, Bob. I’m real sorry. Whew! Incredible, isn’t it? Who’d have figured it? You know?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, who’d have figured ol’ Fast Eddie would take the fucking pipe?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s … ah, there’s no way it was accidental or something, is there? I mean, he was epileptic, I remember, and funny things happen sometimes.”

Bob snorts. “No way. I found the body, his body. He was having them, seizures, quite a lot lately, but no, this was his own doing, his decision.”

“Jesus. I just can’t believe it. You know? There’s no way it coulda been fixed up? You know, arranged. He was playing with some pretty heavy dudes up there, and maybe …”

“No. They did an autopsy.”

“Incredible, man. Just fucking incredible. Ol’ Fast Eddie, always running around yakking and laughing his head off, a million theories. Good hockey player, though.”

“Yeah.”

“Incredible, though. I just can’t figure it.”

“Well, Eddie wasn’t what he seemed, that’s all. And it took something like this, I guess, to let us know that.”

“Yeah.” Ave takes another slug from his Schlitz. “A lot of people aren’t what they seem. You know?”

“Yeah.”

The men are silent for a moment, and then Ave says, “Honduras told me you fucked her the other night.”

Bob says nothing, looks down at the top of the can of Schlitz as if lowering his head to pray. “Honduras told you that?”

“Yeah. True?”

Bob is silent, and then he says, “Well, Ave, what if I said no? What if I said I drove over here the other night looking for you, and you weren’t here, so she gave me some grass and some coke and then came on to me, only I turned her down? What if I said that?”

“You saying that’s what happened?”

“Jesus H. Christ, Ave. If I did fuck her, why would she turn around and tell you? It only makes sense for her to claim I fucked her if instead what I did was turn her down. She’d hafta be pretty pissed at me, wouldn’t she?”

Ave scratches his pointed chin. “She’s a strange girl, lots of weirdness there. But she doesn’t fuck my friends. Not while she’s fucking me, anyhow. She knows that. And my friends, they don’t fuck her, either. They’re supposed to know that. Did you fuck her, Bob?”

Bob says, “I’m going to tell you the truth. And then I’m going to ask you a hard question that I expect you to answer with the truth. Fair?”

Ave looks over at his friend, who is staring upward, the fighting chair tilted back, at the night sky, a wash of stars overhead. “Yeah. Fair.”

“No. I didn’t fuck Honduras,” Bob says, still looking at the dark blue sky. “Did you fuck Elaine?”

“What?”

“I said, ‘Did you fuck Elaine?’ ”

“Jesus Christ, Bob! Why do you ask a thing like that?”

“She told me you fucked her. That’s why. Four years ago, back in Catamount. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s like it was last night, you know?”

“Women are crazy, man,” Ave says. He exhales noisily. “Crazy.”

Bob sips slowly from his beer and watches Ave over the top of the can. “Did you?”

Ave says, “Listen, I like Elaine a lot. A whole lot. But if she says I fucked her, she’s lying.”

“That so?”

“Yeah. We … okay, we talked about it once, you know, kind of flirting with the idea. I guess I’d had a few too many, and maybe she had too, I don’t know, it was a long time ago. I don’t know where you were.”

“Out on the boat. Fishing. I remember where I was. I was a couple miles off the Isles of Shoals outside Portsmouth. It was summer, late July, early August, the bluefish were running, and you had some kinda excuse for staying home.”

“Okay, okay, I don’t remember what it was. But anyhow, she didn’t exactly come on to me, but it was sort of clear that if I made a move … well, she’d respond in kind. But honest to God, Bob, I said no. Hey, she’s a good-looking woman, but no way I was going to fuck my buddy’s wife.”

“So why’d she tell me you did?”

“Beats the shit out of me! Women are crazy, man! Like Honduras. I mean, why’d she tell me you fucked her?”

“I didn’t,” Bob says quietly.

“I know you didn’t, man! But why’d she say you did?”

“She was pissed at me for turning her down, I guess.”

“Well,” Ave says, “there you go.”

“I guess so,” Bob says, and he sighs. “I guess so.”

For a while, the men say nothing. Fireflies dart past them and go out, and the pelicans shift their weight, turn and watch a boat on the opposite side of the pier. Bob says, “Ave, I have got to make more money than I’m making.”

“No shit. I’m glad you noticed.” Ave gets up from his chair. “ ’Nother beer?”