Distress

"Do you see this small lesion in the left frontal lobe?" There was a tiny dark space, a minuscule gap in the gray matter, above the pointer's arrow. "Now compare it with the same region in a twenty-nine-year-old fully autistic male." Another dark space, three or four times larger. "And here's a non-autistic subject of the same age and sex." No lesion at all. "The pathology isn't always so obvious—the structure can be malformed, rather than visibly absent—but these examples make it clear that there's a precise physical basis to our claims."

The view tilted up from the notepad to his face. Witness manufactured a smooth transition from one rock-steady "camera angle" to another—just as it smoothed away saccades: the rapid darting movements of the eyeballs, restlessly scanning and re-scanning the scene even when the gaze was subjectively fixed.

I said, "No one would deny that you've suffered damage in the same part of the brain. But why not be thankful that it's minor damage, and leave it at that? Why not count yourself lucky that you can still function in society, and get on with your life?"

"That's a complicated question. For a start, it depends what you mean by 'function.'"

"You can live outside of institutions. You can hold down skilled jobs." Rourke's main occupation was research assistant to an academic linguist—not exactly sheltered employment.

He said, "Of course. If we couldn't, we'd be classified as fully autistic. That's the criterion which defines 'partial autism': we can survive in ordinary society. Our deficiencies aren't overwhelming—and we can usually fake a lot of what's missing. Sometimes we can even convince ourselves that nothing's wrong. For a while."

"For a while? You have jobs, money, independence. What else does it take to function!"

"Interpersonal relationships."

"You mean sexual relationships?"

"Not necessarily. But they are the most difficult. And the most… illuminating."

He touched a key on his notepad; a complex neural map appeared. "Everyone—or almost everyone—instinctively attempts to understand other human beings. To guess what they're thinking. To anticipate their actions. To… 'know them.' People build symbolic models of other people in their brains, both to act as coherent representations, tying together all the information which can actually be observed—speech, gestures, past actions—and to help make informed guesses about the aspects which can't be known directly—motives, intentions, emotions." As he spoke, the neural map dissolved, and re-formed as a functional diagram of a "third person" model: an elaborate network of blocks labeled with objective and subjective traits.

"In most people, all of this happens with little or no conscious effort: there's an innate ability to model other people. It's refined by use in childhood—and total isolation would cripple its development… in the same way as total darkness would cripple the visual centers. Short of that kind of extreme abuse, though, upbringing isn't a factor. Autism can only be caused by congenital brain damage, or later physical injuries to the brain. There are genetic risk factors which involve susceptibility to viral infections in utero—but autism itself is not a simple hereditary disease."

I'd already filmed a white-coated expert saying much the same things, but VA members' detailed knowledge of their own condition was a crucial part of the story… and Rourke's explanation was clearer than the neurologist's.

"The brain structure involved occupies a small region in the left frontal lobe. The specific details describing individual people are scattered throughout the brain—like all memories—but this structure is the one place where those details are automatically integrated and interpreted. If it's damaged, other people's actions can still be perceived and remembered— but they lose their special significance. They don't generate the same kind of 'obvious' implications; they don't make the same kind of immediate sense." The neural map reappeared—this time with a lesion. Again, it was transformed into a functional diagram—now visibly disrupted, overlayed with dozens of dashed red lines to illustrate lost connections.

Rourke continued, "The structure in question probably began to evolve toward its modern human form in the primates, though it had precursors in earlier mammals. It was first identified and studied—in chimpanzees—by a neuroscientist called Lament, in 2014. The corresponding human version was mapped a few years later.