Do You Dream of Terra-Two?

‘Everyone has something to leave behind. They probably came along for some of the reasons we did, because it would be amazing. Because maybe it’s worth gambling all we have for the promise of a better life.’

‘They must get lonely. Like Cai, spending all day up in the greenhouse, or Igor – I know he left a wife and children and grandchildren behind on Earth,’ Juno said.

‘I never understood why they couldn’t just pair up with each other,’ Astrid said. Juno cringed at the thought, picturing Fae’s stiff body in Commander Sheppard’s arms.

‘Like – what’s his name? – that captain on Orlando, his wife lives on station with him. They’ve been married for thirty years or something.’

‘I guess that’s just luck,’ Juno said. ‘Being put on a mission with someone you grow to love.’

‘Or destiny,’ Astrid said gently.

Juno looked down.

‘You know,’ Astrid said, ‘you act as if we’re all still crew, like we’re all work colleagues doing a job together, but it’s not like that anymore. We’re a family now.’

‘Yes,’ said Juno, looking down at the highlighted pages of the Xiao Lin papers. ‘That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking about. Fellowship. We need to engage in team-building—’

‘I don’t know if we need more plans. More rules.’ Astrid rolled her eyes. ‘Maybe we need more friendship.’

Juno thought for a moment. Pictured again the photos she had seen downlinked from the Shēngmìng, three generations in some of them, smiling scientists and their young children, the first hundred, their faces lined but quietly joyful. Juno had found candid shots of the crew gathered in the Shēngmìng’s greenhouse to celebrate the Duanwu Festival, racing mini motorized dragon boats across the reservoir, faces lantern-lit, crew members toasting each other with realgar wine, toddlers on tiptoes grabbing at cherry blossoms.

‘Juno,’ Astrid came to sit beside her, a mischievous smile on her face. ‘Can you do something for me?’

‘Depends,’ she said. ‘What?’

‘I want… some tuck.’

‘Astrid—’

‘Just a little. I know you don’t let anyone touch it but I haven’t eaten chocolate in weeks. We all know you have real chocolate hidden away in that cupboard with all the rest of the junk food you were too disciplined to eat. Share some with me? Please…’ Her eyes grew wide and pleading.

‘Just a little?’

‘Just a tiny bit,’ Astrid promised, squeezing her finger and thumb together to indicate just how small. Juno sighed.

Her tuck locker was the cupboard full of perishable food from Earth that she’d been allowed to bring with her: hot chocolate, marshmallows, Mars Bars and Pringles all stacked neatly in the kitchen. By their third week in space, the others had eaten through most of their food and were busy trading the dregs. Juno had arranged the food from the back of the cupboard in order of expiry date and written up a timetable in order to preserve it for as long as possible. Commander Sheppard told them tales of the Mars mission where they ran out of coffee and traded favours for sachets of the stuff. ‘You’d be a rich girl,’ he said, ‘if only you’d swap your food for chores.’

Juno opened her locked cupboard. It smelt of preserved sugar, tall stacks of tin cans glinting in the low light. She had only a few chocolate bars left, and didn’t want to spare a whole one, so she picked up a large half-opened Galaxy bar, pushed her finger under the creased gold paper, broke off four squares and surrendered them reluctantly.

Astrid was already licking her lips. ‘Can I eat it now?’ she asked breathlessly.

‘Eat it when you like,’ Juno replied, feigning indifference, although, in her position, Juno knew that she would draw the experience out over four days, letting one square each morning melt in her mouth.

Astrid took a bite, then smiled, her front teeth slicked brown with chocolate. ‘I don’t know how you have the control to stare at all that food and not eat it.’

‘Years of practice.’ Juno laughed. ‘Anyway, I’d feel bad if I ate it all. I’d probably be sick.’ Juno remembered what they had been talking about before. ‘The thing is…’ she began, retrieving the thread of the conversation, ‘I think that if we just learn from the mistakes we made on Earth, and dedicate ourselves to—’

‘You know, you’re not the boss here, Juno, and you can’t keep telling people how to live their lives. That’s why Poppy still hasn’t forgiven you.’ Juno was taken aback by her sister’s harsh tone. ‘You know what Dad would say… what happened to your faith?’

‘Faith in what?’

‘In our destiny. In Terra-Two. You haven’t seen it, like I have. But, Juno, once we get there, all of this,’ she indicated the books Juno had laid out on the table, ‘will be trivial.’

Juno felt her hairs prickle with a flash of irritation. ‘Your dreams, your stupid dreams. A dream is not evidence!’

‘But how can you explain Tessa Dalton and—’

‘Tessa Dalton?’ Juno said. ‘The crazy woman?’

Astrid stared at Juno in furious shock. ‘Take that back!’