Double

Yes, you can. Don’t think about the body. Just do it!

I did it. But the effort was futile — the walls in the ell were also uniformly solid.

What now? I thought, sitting back down on the floor where I’d been before. Wait for someone to come? Will someone come, someone other than Sugarman’s killer?

For some inexplicable reason I had a sudden sharp hunger pang. I remembered I hadn’t eaten since the potato salad I’d gobbled out of the refrigerator last night. I never ate breakfast, and I hadn’t been hungry later on because of the desert heat. I shouldn’t be hungry now, not under this stress, but I was. Also I was thirsty. It had been a long time since I’d finished the bottle of Calistoga Water.

Well, hunger I could do something about, and maybe eating would distract me for a moment from the awful situation I was in. As a chocaholic, I always carry a couple of Hershey bars in my purse. I crawled over to where I’d left it in the middle of the floor and felt around where the candy usually was.

It wasn’t there.

This was impossible! I always—

And then I remembered that a few days ago, two of Charlene’s kids had been beating the hell out of each other and I’d bribed them to be good with the last remaining squares of chocolate. Charlene had been furious with me and had given me a big lecture on child-rearing.

Hunger was the least of my problems, however. I could live without food for quite a while. Water was a more serious deprivation. And what about air? How well was this room ventilated? How long would the oxygen supply hold out?

In response to that thought, I began to feel light-headed and leaned my head forward against my knees.

“Stop it, Sharon,” I said aloud, sitting erect. “You’ve been in worse situations before.”

Oh, yeah? the small voice answered.

“Yeah. Remember when that murderer had the knife at your throat? How about when you were almost trapped in that burning Victorian? And don’t forget when you were locked in the storeroom of the old winery, with all those lunatics with guns outside.”

There could be a lunatic with a gun here, too.

“Don’t think about that.”

Then I realized I was talking to myself, and put my fingers to my lips. All I’d need was to sit here babbling like some wino on a Mission Street bus, while I should be thinking my way out of here. Logic dictated there must be some way...

But I was tired and, try as I might to think, my mind wandered. Finally I looked at my watch again, then stared at it in amazement. It was well after midnight. I’d been here six hours, maybe seven. I slumped against the wall, looking despondently at a piece of crumpled paper—

Paper? I didn’t remember seeing it when I’d come in. Probably, like the note Alice had found in one of my favorite childhood tales, it would say “Drink me.”

I giggled at that. “Drink me.” As if paper would assuage my thirst.

“Sharon, you’re getting giddy,” I said sternly. “And I don’t care if I’m talking to myself, because there’s no one to hear me and think I’m odd.” Then I crawled forward, picked up the paper, and smoothed it out.

It was the piece of scratch paper on which Sugarman had written June Paxton’s address and phone number on Sunday morning. Probably it had fallen from my purse when I yanked out the Swiss Army knife. June Paxton’s name, written in bold, strong letters. Black felt tip on white, both now bathed in that bloody glow. Forceful letters, full of life...

And then I was suddenly alert, staring at them. My mind cleared. I sat back on my heels, holding the paper in both hands. And stayed there, frozen for a long time, while I began to put it all together...

I got up and went into the ell where Sugarman’s body hung. I stared at it without the pity and horror I’d felt earlier. And then, knowing I sounded half cracked — probably was half cracked — but not giving a damn, I began to talk to her.

“You loved Elaine, didn’t you?” I said. “I know you did because I found that note at her house, in your handwriting. You said you couldn’t get her out of your mind ever since that night at the club. This club. Isn’t that right?”

I paused as if waiting for an answer, then went on.

“Which one of you introduced the other to Les Club? You, probably. You and Elaine had become friends, and you sensed she was ripe for a double life. The kind of double life you and all the other members of Les Club led. But she was heterosexual, not bisexual like you. What attracted her to a wide-open sex club? Lots of men, with no strings attached? Bondage? S and M?