Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 124, Nos. 3 & 4. Whole Nos. 757 & 758, September/October 2004

Whitley ever tell you about all the speculation on your death? Some said you couldn’t make that S-curve on Bend Road in the early morning fog. Some thought the slick roads that day might have been a contributing factor, but others just knew you were high on drugs. Some kids in the class swore it could have been Brother Powell or one of those WACK fanatics showing their love of God by killing off a sinner. Brad always suspected J.D. had something to do with it, what with him being so jealous of Leah’s mooning after you. Did you know those two got married, moved to Ohio? After she finally got over you, of course. Our next substitute teacher kept Brad eligible right through baseball. He went to EKU on a football scholarship — graduated a couple of years ago, then joined the Marines. ’Course there was always that rumor you’d gotten in with a bad crowd before you came and they had something to do with it. Everybody knew Sheriff Bowles had it in for you — though they didn’t know what you knew about him — and he did find the wreck. Funny, after being the focus of that Lexington TV station’s “If it bleeds, it leads” story, he suddenly up and left. Went South, far South. Dade County, I hear.

Yeah, there were a lot of rumors, but we know the real truth, don’t we, Doc?

I didn’t want to do it, and as long as you were sober, you pled with me, but I had to. We both knew it was the only way things could end. I know you told me it could ruin my life if people found out, but they never did, and besides, I’d made up my mind. I had to even the score with you.

That Sunday night I drove the Toadmobile out on Bend Road you were so scared and high on toad juice you couldn’t do a thing to stop me. After the way we’d decorated it, though, I hated to roll that beautiful vehicle over the Palisades. What a waste! I have to admit I was surprised it didn’t burst into flames like all those cars do in the movies.

I thought it was a simple, clever plan. After you passed along what your Aunt Hortense had told you about her friend Miss Large dallying with the sheriff, it was easy for me to convince Bowles to take care of things properly. Closed casket, quick funeral, no investigation.

Remember how I told you I’d never be able to pass the ACTs without you, that you’d let me down? Well, Doc, I was wrong. Maybe it was easier because you were gone, but you were right — I had to do it on my own. Yeah, I’m still going to college at nights working on my Ph.D. Piling it higher and deeper, like old J.D. used to say. Don’t want to teach high school all my life.

Yeah, Doc Virgo died that night. Big picture and story in the Lexington paper for everybody to see. For somebody to clip and file. But Waverly, he started to sober up about the time we reached the I-75 rest stop in my car. Haircut and a shave in the men’s room, a Tilghman College sweatshirt to replace the tie-dyed tee. And you thought nobody was listening the time you told us about Twain’s The Prince and the Pauper. Not a day goes by, especially when I hear a frog croak, that I don’t see my all-time favorite teacher climbing into that eighteen-wheeler hitching south.

And each time that image comes to mind, I hope Waverly made as much of his second chance as I have of mine. Oh, one last thing you might want to know. This last spring I taught my high-school English class a new unit — called it Toad Lit.

White Collar Crime by Stephen D. Rogers

Don’t call it a murder
Crime of passion instead
His collar was white
But the lipstick was red

Don’t Tell Mom by Pam Barnesley

For the past few years Canadian Pam Barnsley has worked as a snowboard instructor in the resort of Whistler, British Columbia. She is the author of numerous newspaper and magazine articles and two scripts for the CBC television series The Beachcombers. In November of 2002 her first short story, “Next Time Will Be Different,” was published in EQMM’s Department of First Stories.

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Her mom would kill her if she knew Eleanor had taken her good black dress without asking. Not that asking helped. The answer to everything was no.