Fifty-Two Stories

She thought that it would be good to settle for her whole life in this monastery, where life was as quiet and serene as a summer evening; it would be good to forget completely about her ungrateful and libertine prince, about her enormous fortune, about the creditors who bothered her every day, about her misfortunes, about the maid Dasha, who had an insolent expression on her face that morning. It would be good to sit here on the bench for her whole life and look through the trunks of the birches at how wisps of evening mist hover at the foot of the hill; at how, far away over the forest, in a black cloud like a veil, rooks fly to their night roost; at how two novices—one mounted on a piebald horse, the other on foot—drive the horses to their night pasture and, rejoicing in their freedom, frolic like little children, their young voices ringing out in the motionless air so that you can catch every word. It was good to sit and listen to the silence: now the wind blows and stirs the tops of the birches, now a frog rustles in last year’s leaves, now the bell behind the wall strikes the quarter hour…To sit motionless, listen, and think, think, think…

An old woman with a sack went by. The princess thought it would be good to stop this woman and say something tender, soulful, to help her…But the old woman turned the corner without looking at her even once.

A little later a tall man with a gray beard and wearing a straw hat appeared on the footpath. Coming up to the princess, he took off his hat and bowed, and by his big bald spot and sharp, hooked nose the princess recognized him as Doctor Mikhail Ivanovich, who some five years earlier had worked for her in Dubovki. She remembered someone telling her that the doctor’s wife had died a year ago, and she wanted to show him sympathy, to comfort him.

“You probably don’t recognize me, Doctor?” she asked, smiling affably.

“No, Princess, I did recognize you,” the doctor said, taking off his hat again.

“Well, thank you, and here I thought you’d forgotten your princess. People only remember their enemies, not their friends. So you’ve come to pray?”

“I’m here overnight every Saturday, on duty. I treat people.”

“Well, how are you?” the princess asked, sighing. “I heard that your wife passed away! What a misfortune!”

“Yes, Princess, for me it is a great misfortune.”

“What can be done? We should humbly bear our misfortunes. Not a single hair falls from a man’s head without the will of Providence.”

“Yes, Princess.”

To the princess’s meek, affable smile and her sighs, the doctor replied coldly and drily: “Yes, Princess.” And the expression on his face was cold and dry.

“What else should I tell him?” thought the princess.

“It’s so long since we’ve seen each other, though!” she said. “Five years! So much water has flowed under the bridge in that time, so many changes have occurred, it’s even frightening to think of it! You know I got married…from a countess I’ve become a princess. And I’m already separated from my husband.”

“Yes, I heard.”

“God has sent me many trials! You’ve probably also heard that I’m almost ruined. To pay my unfortunate husband’s debts, my estates in Dubovki and Kiryakovo and Sofyino have been sold. I have only Baranovo and Mikhaltsevo left. It’s frightening to look back: so many changes, all sorts of misfortunes, so many mistakes!”

“Yes, Princess, many mistakes.”

The princess was slightly embarrassed. She knew her mistakes; they were all of such an intimate sort that she alone could think and speak of them. She could not help herself and asked:

“What mistakes are you thinking of?”

“You’ve mentioned them, which means you know…,” the doctor replied and smiled wryly. “Why talk about them?”

“No, tell me, Doctor. I’ll be very grateful to you! And please don’t stand on ceremony with me. I love hearing the truth.”

“I’m not your judge, Princess.”

“My judge? If you speak in such a tone, it means you know something. Tell me!”

“If you wish, I will. Only, unfortunately, I’m not a good speaker, and it’s not always possible to understand me.”

The doctor thought a little and began: