Flashman And The Tiger

The place is like a tomb. What price Ischl for high jinks, eh? I’d rather have Stockholm on a Sunday! Now, I’ll take you along to your post, which is in the last of the day-rooms from which the passage runs to the Emperor’s billet and the aides' quarters. There’s a nice shadowy corner where you can watch the passage entry, and on t’other side of the room there’s a flight of stairs leading down to a little hall, where I’ll get out by a window." He paused, thinking. "If they come tonight, as I feel they will, you’d best use your judgment when the shootin' starts. A few quick shots will mean it’s all over; if there’s still firin' after twenty seconds … well, ’twill mean there are more of ’em than I bargain for. If they don’t come, back to bed with you when the house begins to stir. I’ll be out takin' the morning air," he added, with a wink. "All clear, then'? All serene-o?"

It wasn’t, of course, but I gave him my resolute chin-up look, and got his approving nod. "Best take your stick, in case anyone comes on you unexpected in the small hours, tho' I doubt if there’ll be a soul about before dawn. Unless," says he, looking comical, "the Holnup diddle us by coming through the house, in which case … well, good huntin', you lucky bastard!"

He moved quickly to the door, peeped out, and slipped into the corridor, motioning me to follow. There was a light burning at the far end, but not a sound in the building save the occasional creak of its timbers. Willem flitted ahead like a ghost, and what we’d have said if someone had popped a head out and found us roaming the darkened house, God knows. We crossed what he’d called the day-rooms one after another; they had lamps burning low, and here and there the waning moon struck a shaft of light through a window, and the embers of a fire glowed in the shadows.

At last he paused, flicking a finger to his left, and I saw a flight of stairs leading down into the blackness. He pointed to his right, and there was the dark opening of the passage leading to Franz-Josef’s room. A lamp gleamed dimly on a table at the passage entry, and now Willem pointed to a shadowy corner to the left of the passage and a few feet from it, where I could see a big leather chair. At his nod I moved quietly towards it; then he blew out the passage light, leaving the room in darkness.

I didn’t hear him move, but suddenly I sensed him beside me, his hand gripping mine, and his voice close to my ear; "Good luck, old ’un!", and then a whispered chuckle. "Ain’t this the life, though?" Infernal idiot. A second later his shadow was at the head of the stairs, and soon after I heard below the faint noise of a sash being raised and closed again, and good riddance.

And then … well, d’you know, there was nothing to do but sit about, a prey to what they call conflicting emotions. I’d run a fair range of them in the past few days, some damned disturbing, a few delightful with Kralta, but mostly bewildering, and now, seated in that great leather contraption, I tried to take stock of what was, you’ll allow, an unusual situation. Here was I, in the summer residence of the Emperor of Austria, loaded for bear, waiting for bloody murder to break out in his policies, but the odd thing was that now that the grip had come, I wasn’t more than half nervous, let alone scared. I was as well out of harm’s way as any man in the place, Willem could bear the brunt—and the aftermath, with everyone behaving like headless chickens, should provide some entertainment. He’d be the hero of the hour (if he lived), but I’d garner some credit if only by limping about looking stern and impressing the excitable kraut-eaters with my British phlegm. A little discreet lying when I saw Hutton again would ensure that favourable reports reached London and Paris (and Windsor, eh?), and after an amiable parting from Franz-Josef it would be hey for Vienna! with a grateful and adoring Kralta.

She was a happy thought as I sat cosily ensconced in the dark, still warm from the dead fireplace. Odd female, handsome enough in her horsy way, with the body of a Dahomey Amazon and appetite to match, but would she have boiled my kettle in the ordinary way of things? Perhaps ’twas the strange circumstances in which we’d met, or the contrast between her icy, damn-you style and the passion with which she performed, that had me drying my chin at my randy recollections: that fur robe slipping to the floor, like the unveiling of a lovely marble statue, the long limbs entwining with mine, the silky hair across my face … aye, Vienna beckoned, right enough, and on those blissful imaginings I settled comfortably to my vigil in the hours ahead …