Frog

The brigade leadership sent me an urgent telegram, informing me that Wang Renmei was pregnant again. I was told in no uncertain terms that as a Party member and a cadre, and with a certificate proving that my one child was a daughter, for which I received a monthly subsidy, my wife should not be pregnant with a second child. The news hit me like a bombshell. I was ordered to return home without delay and make sure the pregnancy was terminated.

My unanticipated appearance at home shocked everyone. My two-year-old daughter hid behind her grandmother and looked at me fearfully.

What are you doing here? Mother asked anxiously.

I’m on assignment and this was on the way.

Yanyan, this is your papa, Mother said as she pushed the girl towards me. Day in and day out you say you want your papa to come home, and now that he’s here, you’re afraid of him.

I reached out for her arm to hold her, but all that did was make her cry.

Mother sighed. We’ve been in constant fear, she said, and we tried to hide it. But the truth came out anyway.

How did it happen? I asked unhappily. Wasn’t she fitted with an IUD?

She didn’t tell me until she began to show, Mother said. When she knew you were coming home for a visit last time, she went to Yuan Sai and had him remove the device.

That bastard Yuan Sai! I cursed through clenched teeth. Doesn’t he know that’s against the law?

Don’t report him, Mother said. Renmei begged him over and over, and even sent Wang Dan to plead her case, before he’d do it.

What a chance she took! Yuan Sai castrates animals. How could he have the nerve to remove one of those? What if something had happened?

He does it for lots of women, Mother said, keeping her voice low. Your wife said he was very skillful, that he plucked it right out with a metal hook.

Shameless, that’s what it is!

Don’t be so sensitive, Mother said. Wang Dan went with her, and Yuan Sai wore a surgical mask, dark glasses, and rubber gloves. He sterilised the hook first in alcohol and then by a flame to make sure it was safe. Your wife said she didn’t even have to take off her pants. He just cut a little hole in the crotch, and that was it.

That’s not what I meant.

Xiaopao, Mother said sadly, your two older brothers both have sons. You’re the only one who doesn’t, and that worries me. Why not let her have the baby?

I’d be willing to let her go through with it, but what if it isn’t a boy?

It looks like a boy to me, Mother said. When I asked your daughter if her mother was carrying a little sister or a little brother, she said, A little brother! Words from a toddler are prophetic. Besides, even if it’s a girl, she could be a help to you after Yanyan grows up, and you’ll be protected if something should happen to her. I’m getting old, and once my eyes close for the last time, I won’t know a thing. I’m just thinking about you.

Mother, I said, there are rules in the army. If I have a second child, I’ll lose my Party membership and my army commission, and I’ll be sent home to tend fields. I struggled for years to leave the village, and having a second child isn’t worth giving all that up.

Are Party membership and a commission more precious than a child? It takes people to make a world. If you have no one to carry on the line, what good does it do to become a high official, even if you’re second only to Chairman Mao?

Chairman Mao has been dead for a long time, I said.

Do you think I don’t know he’s dead? I was just making a point.

The door opened with a bang. Ma, Yanyan shouted, my papa’s home!

I watched the girl totter on tiny legs up to her mother. Renmei was wearing the grey jacket I’d worn before going into the army. She was definitely showing. A red bundle, from which bits of coloured cloth peeked out, hung from the crook of her arm. She bent down and picked our daughter up. Well, now, Xiaopao, what are you doing home? she asked with an exaggerated smile.

Can’t I return to my own home? You’ve really done it this time, I said testily.

Her face, covered with dark ‘pregnancy spots’, paled, then immediately turned bright red. What have I done? she asked, raising her voice. I’m out in the field during the day and take care of our daughter at night. I haven’t done anything I shouldn’t have.

Don’t start splitting hairs. Why did you go see Yuan Sai behind my back? Why didn’t you say anything to me?

Traitor! Turncoat! Renmei put down the child and stormed into the bedroom, nearly tripping over a stool, which she sent flying with her foot. Who betrayed me by telling you?

Our daughter was wailing outside.

Mother was sitting by the stove weeping.

Stop bawling and cursing, and go with me to the health centre to take care of this, and that’ll be the end of it.

Don’t even think it! she yelled as she flung a hand mirror to the floor. It’s my child, in my belly, and I’ll hang myself from the door of anyone who tries to harm it.