Funny Children's Stories. Bilingual Edition

Slava Brodsky lived most of his life in Russia. He got his mathematician’s diploma from Moscow State University. Combined work in the industry with research in the field of applied mathematical statistics. He is the author of several books in this field.

In his student years, he was engaged in painting. His early paintings belong to the period of non-conformism in Russia (60’s – 80’s). In the beginning of 80’s, he began writing short stories. However, they were not published at that time.

In 1991, Slava Brodsky moved to the United States of America. Since then he has worked in Manhattan's financial industry.

Continuing painting, he began his first experiments at his home ceramis workshop. Since then, the art of ceramics has been at the core of his artistic creativity.

In 2004, Slava Brodsky began his career as a writer. Since then, he has published several books in Russian: “Delirious soup”, “The Linguistic Concept of Relativity”, “Historical Anecdotes”, “Funny Children's Sories”, “Grand Culinary Book of Developed Socialism”.

Slava Brodsky is a Vice President of MetLife. He lives with his wife in Millburn, New Jersey. His website is www.slavabrodsky.com.

* Pood is a Russian unit of mass approximately equal to 36 international pounds.

* Offensive remarks toward people other than Russians (like the one made by the principal about pygmies) are quite common in Russia.

** Another offensive remark – “big nose” – towards Jewish people in Russia.

* It seems that the boy and his parents lived together in the same room.

* One kopeck is the smallest Russian coin. For comparison: the cost of a local call from a public phone was 15 kopecks at that time.

* The father of the boy was obviously making fun of some propaganda slogan of that time.

* Romantic relations between students and young teachers were (and probably are) quite common in Russian schools.

* A two is a non-passing grade in the Russian “two to five” school grading system, comparable to an F in the American grading system. A three is a minimum passing grade. A four is a good passing grade. A five is the highest grade, comparable to an A in the American grading system.

* One meter is a little bit longer than one yard.

* Russian children often call middle-aged women aunt.

* The Ukrainian language is pretty close to Russian. That is why for many Russians, Ukrainian sounds like broken Russian.

* All private mail in Soviet Russia could be opened and inspected by KGB agents.

* In Soviet Russia, a knock on someone’s door in the middle of the night most likely meant an arrest.

* Being considered an educated person was neither honorable nor safe in Soviet Russia. For this reason, it was a shame to get good grades in school.

* In Soviet Russia, almost everyone was under the impression that women could not and should not play soccer. This opinion was supported by the Soviet law prohibiting women from playing the game.

 * Тhe boy’s dad, obviously, meant to imply a strong possibility that either the little kid or his father might be, one day, imprisoned.

* Size 10 by 14 centimeters means a four by six screen with a 7-inch diagonal.

* Nikolai Gogol is a famous Russian writer.

* Solomon  Mikhoels was a famous Russian-Jewish actor and producer killed by Soviet secret agents in the street.

* The boy’s dad obviously meant that the room was vacated because the neighbors were arrested.

* The boy’s dad obviously meant that Serge’s mom should be scared to be at home and wait for a KGB agent's knock on the door.

* “Don’t tell anybody!” – was a part of almost every conversation at that time. People were afraid to talk about any topic because of the threat of arrest.

* At that time, in Soviet Russia, Sundays were the only days off. On Saturday, adults went to work while kids went to school.

* GUM is a huge department store in the center of Moscow, on Red Square.  It used to be a desired destination of each visitor of Moscow and, most often, the primary goal of the visit.