Girls of Riyadh

One evening after everyone else had gone to bed, the two of them were left in the living room, in their PJs, watching a film on one of the satellite channels. When the film ended—and poor Tariq hadn’t taken any of it in, since he was so engrossed in what he intended to say to Sadeem—he turned to her, whispering the name by which he was accustomed to call her.

“Demi?”

“Yes?”

“There’s something I want to talk to you about, but I don’t know how to start.”

“Why don’t you know how to start? Nothing’s wrong, is it? I hope not.”

“Well, for me it’s all good, but I don’t know what you will think about it.”

“I hope it’s good. Just spell it out and get it over with. There are no formalities between us, right?”

“Okay. I’ll just say it straight out, and God give me strength. Demi, we’ve known each other for a very long time, haven’t we? Since we were little, when you used to visit us on holidays, I always looked at you, a lot, and what I saw was the lovely girl with soft hair and pink hair band. The little girl who dressed prettier than any other girl and didn’t want to play with boys. Do you remember how I used to fight with the other kids when they annoyed you? And if I went to the grocery shop I wouldn’t take any girl with me except you so I could buy you what you wanted? We were still kids, I know, but by God I loved you even then!

“When we got a little older, I loved being around you and my sisters whenever you came to visit us, even though I was always the only boy sitting with your small group of girls. I know it didn’t look so great, my being there, but the only thing I cared about was being near you in the hours you spent with us! Can you believe it? I wouldn’t bring my sisters ice cream unless you were there! My sisters got to the point where if they wanted me to bring them something they would say to me, ‘Hmm, we wonder if Sadeem is coming tonight!’

“All this and I knew that you didn’t love me the way I loved you. Maybe you played along a little bit to be nice to me, and maybe you were happy that I was interested in you, and you had the right to feel that way, of course. I would say to myself, She’s got every reason! And what would she love in you anyway? Not handsome, no degree, no money, chubby figure, there’s nothing in you that would attract her, except the fact that you’re crazy about her.

“The day they accepted me in the College of Dentistry in Riyadh, I was in ecstasy! Do you know why? First, because you might respect me more if I became a doctor, a dentist in fact, and second, because I was going to live in Riyadh, where you lived. I could visit you and I could get to know your dad better, so that maybe he would invite me over every day and I could see you.

“When Waleed asked for your hand, I felt like everything collapsed at once! I couldn’t propose to you like he did because I was still a student with no income. My mother told me your father would never turn down the son of Al-Shari in favor of me, the kid son of your aunt, who hadn’t even finished college. Your engagement and milkah periods were absolutely the most horrible times in my life. I felt I had lost every single dream that I’ve had for myself. And then, after you split up with Waleed, the world smiled at me again! I wanted to open the subject with you quickly. I intended to propose to you as soon as possible, but I couldn’t, because right away you went off to London.”

Sadeem’s face was fixed in astonishment as Tariq went on. “When you came back, I noticed you were avoiding me whenever I came to visit, and you wouldn’t answer my phone calls. When I saw that, I said to myself: This girl clearly doesn’t love you. She can’t even stand you! Stay away from her and leave her alone.

“And I really did stay away. But, and God is witness to my words, I didn’t forget you for a single day. You were always on my mind and I resolved to wait for fate to bring us together.

“After your father died, I felt I wanted to be at your side, but I couldn’t. I knew that my mother wanted to bring you here and that you didn’t agree. There was something inside me telling me that the real reason you were refusing to move here was me.

“The day you came, I vowed to myself that I was not going to bother you. I was going to do whatever it takes to cheer you up, but keeping my distance so that you wouldn’t feel like I was exploiting your presence in my home in order to win you over. Even my mother—I warned her not to talk to you about my feelings. She knows how much I love you and she has always longed to get us engaged, sooner rather than later. But I wanted to make sure you’d agree first so I wouldn’t embarrass her in front of you or you in front of her.