Give Me Five

She just looked at me and went, Are you seriously trying to tell me that you don't remember last month, when you were convinced you had Tourette's syndrome?'

I protested that this was totally different. Tourette's is a disorder characterized by multiple motor and vocal tics that begin prior to the age of eighteen, and at the time we were studying it in class, my constant use of words such as 'like' and 'totally' seemed totally characteristic of the disease.

Is it my fault that generally the tics are accompanied by involuntary bodily movements, from which I apparently don't suffer?

'Are you trying to say,' I demanded, 'that I don't have Asperger's syndrome?'

'Mia,' my mother said. 'There is nothing wrong with you. You are one hundred per cent Asperger's syndrome-free.

I couldn't believe this, however, after everything I'd read.

'Are you SURE?' I asked. 'What about Lilly?'

My mom snorted. 'Well. I wouldn't go so far as to say that Lilly is normal. But I highly doubt she is suffering from Asperger's.'

Damn! I wish she were. Lilly, I mean. Because then I might be able to forgive her. For calling me weak, I mean.

But as she has no disease, there is no excuse for the way she's treated me.

I have to admit, I'm a little sad I don't have Asperger's. Because now my obsession with the prom is just that: my obsession with the prom. And not a symptom of a disease over which I have no control.

Just my luck!

Wednesday, May 7, 3:30 a.m.

I realize now what I am going to have to do. I mean, I think I knew it all along, and I was just blocking it. Which isn't surprising, considering that every fibre of my being is crying out against it.

But really, what choice do I have? Michael himself even said it: he'd go to the prom if the guys from his band were going too.

Oh, God, I can't believe it has come to this. My life really IS going down the toilet if this is the low to which I am forced to stoop.

I'll never be able to get to sleep now. I just know it. I am too filled with dread.

The Atom

The Official Student-Run Newspaper of Albert Einstein High School

Take Pride in the AEHS Lions

Week of May 12

Volume 456/Issue 28

Notice to all Students:

As we enter final exams in the next few weeks, school administrators would like us to review the

AEHS mission statement and beliefs:

Mission Statement

It is Albert Einstein High School's mission to provide students with learning experiences that are technologically relevant, globally orientated and personally challenging.

Beliefs:

1. The school must provide a diverse curriculum that includes a strong academic programme enhanced by numerous electives.

2. A well-supported and diverse extra-curricular programme is an essential supplement to the academic programme in helping students explore a wide range of interests and abilities.

3. Students must be encouraged to develop

responsible behaviour and accountability for their actions.

4. Tolerance and understanding of different cultures and viewpoints must be encouraged at all times.

5. Cheating or plagiarism will not be condoned in any form, and can lead to suspension or expulsion.

The administration would like the student body to be aware that in the coming exam period, it intends to enforce point 5 with vigilance. Forewarned is forearmed.

Incident at Les Hautes Manger

by Mia Thermopolis

Having been asked by this paper to provide an account of what occurred last week at the restaurant Les Hautes Manger, at which this reporter was present, it must be noted that the entire thing was the fault of this reporter's grandmother, who smuggled her dog into the restaurant. The said dog's ill-timed break for freedom caused busboy Jangbu Pinasa to drop a soup-laden tray on to the Dowager Princess of Genovia's person. The consequent dismissal of Jangbu Pinasa was both unfair and possibly unconstitutional. Though this reporter isn't sure, due to her lack of familiarity with said constitution. It is this reporter's feeling that Mr. Pinasa should be given his job back.

Editorial

While it is not the policy of this paper to print anonymous submissions, the following poem so neatly sums up what so many

of us are feeling at this time of year that we decided to run it anyway. - Ed.

Spring Fever

By Anonymous

Sneaking away during lunch -

Taco salad, the kind with the meat in it, and the Green Goddess dressing. God, why do they do that to us?

We find that Central Park beckons - Green grass and daffodils pushing their way out from underneath

a blanket of cigarette butts and crumpled soda cans. So we make a run for it - Did they see us? I don't

think so.

Can we get In-School suspension for a first offence? I guess anything is possible. Let's sit on the bench and try to get a tan ... Only to find, to our dismay, that we've left our sunglasses back in our lockers.