Годы паники. Как принять верное решение, когда все говорят «пора рожать»

Весь мой «поток» толкало вперед медленное, монотонное, сводящее с ума распутывание этих трех узлов. Я не могу сделать это для вас, не могу ввести эти осознания в ваше тело или вплести их в ваш разум. Я не могу на самом-то деле ничему вас научить. Но надеюсь, что с помощью этой хроники моего «потока», этих посланий из моих «годов паники», этого гобелена, на котором изображены все места, где я побывала, удастся заставить вас задаться этими вопросами. Они придут в вашу жизнь, как стук в дверь посреди ночи, как сила, с которой следует считаться. Кто вы и чего хотите? Задаваясь ими, вы разорветесь в клочки. Зато отвечая на них, свяжете себя заново. Удачи! Я на вашей стороне.

Примечания

¹ Luke Turner, Out Of The Woods (Orion Publishing Group, 2019).

² Me And Bobby McGee’, текст Фреда Фостера и Криса Кристофферсона.

³ Annie Lord, ‘How Long is the Average Millennial Relationship?’, Vice Magazine, 6 October 2017. https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/wjxy74/how-long-is-the-average-millennial-relationship.

⁴ I was crying like a fire in the sun; цит. из песни It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue, текст Боба Дилана.

⁵ Daniel Bergner, What Do Women Want (Ecco Press, 2013). (Бергнер Д. Чего хотят женщины? Наука о природе женской сексуальности. Изд-во Эксмо, 2016 г.).

⁶ Zoe Williams, ‘Why Women Love Fifty Shades of Grey’, The Guardian, 6 July 2012. https://www.theguardian.com/books/2012/jul/06/why-women-love-fifty-shades-grey.

⁷ Making The Best Of A Bad Situation’, текст Милли Джексон.

⁸ Office for National Statistics, ‘Childbearing for women born in different years, England and Wales: 2016’, 24 November 2017. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/conceptionandfertilityrates/bulletins/childbearingforwomenbornindifferentyearsenglandandwales/2016.

⁹ Balbo, N. and Barban, N., ‘Does Fertility Behavior Spread among Friends?’, American Sociological Review, 79 (3) (2014), pp. 412–431.

¹⁰ L. A. Paul, ‘Transformative Choice: Discussion and Replies’, Res Philosophica, 92 (2) (2015), pp. 473–545.

¹¹ Sisterhood and After Research Team, ‘Women’s liberation: a national movement’, 8 March 2013. https://www.bl.uk/sisterhood/articles/womens-liberation-a-national-movement.

¹² Hackney Learning Trust, ‘Hackney Children’s Centre Nursery Fees from 1st September 2019’. https://www.learningtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/document/Childrens%2 °Centre%20Nursery%20Fees.pdf.

¹³ The Money Advice Service, ‘Average Childcare Costs’. https://www. moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/childcare-costs.

¹⁴ WHO, UNICEF, UNFPA, World Bank Group and the United Nations Population Division, Trends in Maternal Mortality: 1990–2015. https:// www.who.int/reproductivehealth/publications/monitoring/maternal-mortality-2015/en/.

¹⁵ Jean M. Twenge, ‘How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby?’, The Atlantic, July/August 2013 issue. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-canyou-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/.

¹⁶ Dunson DB, Baird DD, Colombo B, ‘Increased infertility with age in men and women’, Obstetrics and Gynaecology, Jan 2004. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14704244.

¹⁷ Harris ID, Fronczak C, Roth L, Meacham RB, ‘Fertility and the aging male’, Reviewsin Urology,2011. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22232567.

¹⁸ BMJ 2019;364:l869, ‘Role of maternal age and pregnancy history in risk of miscarriage: prospective register based study’, 20 March 2019. https://www.bmj.com/content/364/bmj.l869.

¹⁹ NHS, ‘Overview: IVF’. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ivf/.

²⁰ Amanda Holpuch, ‘Rob Delaney: Men in their 20s are the worst thing happening on our planet, The Guardian, 12 June 2013. https://www.theguardian.com/ culture/2013/jun/12/rob-delaney-interview.

²¹ Philip Larkin, High Windows, (Faber 2015).

²² Office for National Statistics, ‘Population estimates by marital status and living arrangements, England and Wales: 2002 to 2016’, 13 July 2017. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/populationestimates/bulletins/populationestimatesbymaritalstatusandliving arrangements/2002to20.

²³ Office for National Statistics, ‘Marriages in England and Wales: 2016’, 28 March 2019. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/marriagecohabitationandcivilpartnerships/ bulletins/marriagesinenglandandwalesprovisional/2016.

²⁴ Office for National Statistics, ‘Marriages in England and Wales: 2016’, 28 March 2019. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/.birthsdeathsandmarriages/marriagecohabitationandcivilpartnerships/bulletins/marriagesinenglandandwalesprovisional/20.

²⁵ Trades Union Congress, ‘One in five met their husband or wife at work’, 12 February 2016. https://www.tuc.org.uk/news/one-five-met-their-husbandor-wife-work-tuc-poll-reveals.

²⁶ NHS, ‘Overview: abortion’. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/abortion/.