Heads You Win

“Wild horses couldn’t have dragged me away from this meeting,” he said, “but the words ‘your wife’s gone into labor’ certainly can and will.” He was already on the move.

A second round of applause followed, and when Alex reached the door he turned and said, “Bob, will you take over the chair? I don’t think I’ll be back today.”

“There’s a taxi waiting for you,” Miss Robbins said as they went down in the elevator.

The cab sped off as if it was on the front of the grid at Daytona. Alex had to cling on to his seat as the driver swerved in and out of the traffic. Clearly the words “she’s in labor” created another gear.

By the time the taxi came to a screeching halt outside the hospital entrance fifteen minutes later, two police motorcycles were on their tail. Alex prayed they were both fathers. He took his wallet out, handed the driver a hundred-dollar bill, and ran inside.

“Your change!” shouted the driver, but Alex had long since disappeared.

He crossed the lobby to the front desk and gave the receptionist his name.

“Maternity unit, 6B, fourth floor,” she said, checking her screen and smiling. “Your wife got here just in time.”

Alex ran to the elevator, jumped in, and jabbed the number 4 several times, only to discover it didn’t make it move any faster. When the doors eventually slid open on the fourth floor, he walked quickly along the corridor until he came to a door marked 6B. He charged in to find Anna sitting up in bed, holding a little bundle in her arms. She looked up and smiled.

“Ah, here’s your father. What can have taken him so long?”

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here in time,” said Alex, taking her in his arms. “Something unexpected came up at the office isn’t much of an excuse, but at least it’s true.”

“Meet your son and heir,” said Anna, handing him over.

“Hello, little fellow. Had a good day so far?”

“He’s doing fine,” said Anna. “But he’s quite anxious to find out what happened at the board meeting.”

“No need to be, his father’s still the chairman of Lowell’s Bank.”

“How come?”

“Evelyn gave me her casting vote.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Because she’s had to accept that the bank can no longer afford to pay out any more money, and perhaps more important, she won’t now be able to get her hands on the Lowell Collection.”

“But why would she roll over quite so easily?” said Anna.

“Jackie Kennedy came to our rescue,” said Alex.

“I’m lost.”

“It seems that the police had to arrest either Ackroyd or Evelyn for stealing the Warhol, while allowing the other to turn state’s evidence. No prizes for guessing which role Evelyn cast herself in. In fact she’s so desperate, she even offered to sell me her shares in the bank.”

“For how much?”

“A million dollars. Just a pity I don’t have that sort of money at the moment.”

“Let’s hope you don’t live to regret it,” said Anna.

There was a tap on the door, and a nurse poked her head into the room. “I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Karpenko, but there’s a traffic policeman outside who says he needs to see the evidence.”

BOOK FOUR

36

SASHA

Westminster, 1980

It would have been better if Mr. Sasha Karpenko MP had never left the Soviet Union, was the opening sentence in The Times’ leader that morning.

Sasha fell in love with the Palace of Westminster from the moment he walked through St. Stephen’s entrance, and joined his new colleagues in the Members’ Lobby. His mother burst into tears when he swore the oath before taking his place on the opposition back benches. As he held the Bible in his hand with members on both sides staring down at him as if he’d just arrived from another planet, it felt to Sasha like being the new boy at school.

Michael Cocks, the Labour chief whip, told him to keep his head down for the first few years. However, it didn’t take the whips long to realize they had a prodigious young talent on their hands who might not always be easy to handle. So when Sasha rose to make his maiden speech even the two front benches remained in their places to hear the member for Moscow, as the Conservatives referred to him. But Sasha had already decided to tackle that problem in its infancy.

“Mr. Sasha Karpenko,” called Mr. Speaker Thomas. The House fell silent, as is the tradition when a member delivers his or her maiden speech.

“Mr. Speaker, may I begin by saying what an honor it is for this Russian immigrant to become a member of the British House of Commons. If you had told me, just twelve years ago when I was a schoolboy in Leningrad, that I would be sitting on these benches before my thirtieth birthday, only my mother would have believed it, especially as I had already told my closest school friend that I was going to be the first democratically elected president of Russia.”

This statement was greeted by loud cheers from both sides of the House.