Heads You Win

“With that in mind, Mr. Karpenko, we will allow you a year’s grace, during which time you will not have to pay any tax. After that, we will require you to return the full amount”—he checked the figure—“of one hundred twenty-six thousand pounds over a period of four years. However, if the company should make a profit during that time, every penny will come to the Inland Revenue.” He paused before looking across his desk at Sasha and adding firmly, “I accept that the next five years are not going to be easy for you and your family, but if you feel unable to accept this offer, we will be left with no choice but to take possession of all your assets, as the taxman is always paid in full before any other creditors.” He paused again, and looked up at his visitor. “You may wish to spend a few days considering your position, Mr. Karpenko, before you make a final decision.”

“That won’t be necessary, Mr. Dark,” said Sasha. “I accept your terms, and am most grateful to you for giving me a second chance.”

“I applaud your decision. So many of my clients go bankrupt, and then open a new business the following day, not bothering about their debts, or anyone else’s problems.” Mr. Dark opened a second file and extracted another document. “Then all that is left for you to do, Mr. Karpenko, is to sign here, here, and here.” He even offered Sasha a biro.

“Thank you,” said Sasha, wondering if he was about to wake up.

Once Sasha had signed the agreement, Mr. Dark rose from behind his desk and shook hands with him for a second time.

“I have no politics, Mr. Karpenko,” said Dark as he accompanied Sasha out of the room and back down the corridor to the lift, “but if I lived in Merrifield, I would vote for you, and although I have only dined at Elena’s on one occasion, I enjoyed the experience immensely.”

“You must come again,” said Sasha, as the lift door opened and he stepped inside.

“Not until you’ve paid off your debt in full, Mr. Karpenko.”

The lift door closed.

*   *   *

Sasha’s prospects of retaining his seat didn’t improve following Mrs. Thatcher’s much vaunted triumph in the Falklands, and Michael Foot’s stubborn refusal to occupy the center ground.

But then he had a stroke of luck that can change the career of any politician. Sir Michael Forrester died of a heart attack, triggering a by-election in the neighboring constituency of Endlesby. The chance of representing a safe Tory seat for the rest of her life was too tempting for Fiona Hunter, and few people were surprised when she allowed her name to go forward as the prospective candidate. After all, she claimed, Endlesby was half of her old constituency.

Fiona won the by-election by over ten thousand votes, and returned to take her place on the green benches, where Sasha assumed their rivalry would continue. Sasha’s second piece of luck came when the Merrifield Conservative Association quarreled among themselves as to who should be their candidate at the next general election, and ended up selecting a local councilor who divided opinion even in his own party.

After the general election, Margaret Thatcher returned to the Commons with an overwhelming majority, despite being spurned by the voters of Merrifield, who decided to hold on to their member, if only by a majority of ninety-one. But as Alf pointed out to Sasha, it was Winston Churchill who said, “One is quite enough, dear boy.”

*   *   *

Neil Kinnock, the new leader of the Labour Party, invited Sasha to join the opposition front bench as a junior spokesman in the foreign affairs team, with special responsibilities for the Eastern Bloc countries.

Sasha’s reputation inside and outside Parliament grew, and members on both sides of the House became aware that whenever he rose to take his place at the dispatch box, the ill-prepared lived to regret it.

Fiona was made an undersecretary of state at the Foreign Office, and looked set for a long parliamentary career. However, it was another newly elected Conservative member who caused Sasha to jump with joy—if only in the privacy of his own home.

Sasha accepted that there would be no love lost when they faced each other across the floor of the House, but that wouldn’t stop him sharing the occasional half pint in Annie’s Bar with The Hon. Member Ben Cohen MP.

37

SASHA

London and Moscow

When the government announced they would be sending an all-party delegation to Moscow to discuss Anglo-Russian relations following the election of Mikhail Gorbachev as General Secretary, no one was surprised that Sasha was chosen to represent the Labour Party.

However, Sasha was not amused to discover that the Conservatives had invited Fiona Hunter to lead the delegation. Was it simply because nothing gave her greater pleasure than to oppose Sasha given any opportunity?

“How long will you be away with that dreadful woman?” Charlie asked when Sasha told her the news.

“Three, four days at most, and we won’t exactly have any time for socializing.”