Intrepid

Gunny put his arm around Kris's shoulder and turned her gently around. Kris had seen men do that to their grown sons and daughters. Father had never done that to her. ''Now, Lieutenant, you done set yourself a real tough row to hoe. Why don't you go face that jury, as close as you can get to peers, and let them give you what truth they can about this day.''

Kris started back.

KRIS, I CANNOT FIGURE IT OUT.

WHAT, NELLY?

WE DID EVERYTHING RIGHT, BUT WE KILLED ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE. I KILLED ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE.

IT'S WE, NELLY, YOU AND I. I TOLD YOU WHAT TO DO. YOU DID IT. YOU WERE ONLY FOLLOWING ORDERS.

YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT A VALID DEFENSE. AT LEAST NOT IF YOU LOSE.

I KNOW, NELLY, BUT YOU HAVE TO REALIZE, SOMETIMES, WHEN YOU DO EVERYTHING RIGHT, IT ALL GOES WRONG.

THAT DOES NOT COMPUTE. A + B IS SUPPOSED TO EQUAL C, AND IF A AND B ARE GOOD, HOW CAN C BE BAD?

NELLY, I DON'T KNOW. IT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT. IT ISN'T FAIR, BUT SOMETIMES, THAT IS JUST THE WAY IT IS. YOU DO EVERYTHING, WANTING THE BEST FOR EVERYONE, AND IT JUST BLOWS UP IN YOUR FACE.

THAT CANNOT BE RIGHT. I TRIED AND TRIED AND TRIED TO CALCULATE ALL OF THAT, AND IT JUST DOES NOT COME OUT. IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME OR MY CIRCUITS?

NO, NELLY. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. PROBABLY NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. IT'S JUST SOMETHING WE HUMANS HAVE FOUND OUT.

NOW I THINK I UNDERSTAND SOMETHING I HAVE READ.

WHAT IS THAT?

SOMETIMES SHIT HAPPENS.

YES, NELLY, SOMETIMES, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, IT DOES.

Kris found herself facing the passageway to her staff room. Down that hall, through that door, were the men and women she'd given the job of measuring her soul, her conscience.

And yet, now that she and Nelly had had this little talk, Kris didn't feel so in need of anyone else's approval. Somehow, in facing Nelly's first pangs of conscience, she had found her own measurement of right and wrong.

Did she really want to hear what these people had to say?

Unbidden, a question floated to the top of her mind. What would Grampa Ray do? Yes, what would King Raymond feel about the death of a few thousand people? It probably would cool the war someone was trying to start. That was good. The five thousand was sadly unavoidable.

Greenfeld State Security certainly agreed with him.

But that way lay madness and easy choices that would take Kris … Kris really didn't know or want to know where that would take her.

She had urged Grampa Ray to accept the kingship. Asked him to help her generation make it through the tough times ahead. He had said it was time for them to make their own mistakes.

Had he really been dodging the crown for another reason? Did he know how burned and blackened his own soul was? Had he chased the easy decisions as deep as he wanted to go and now hoped to retire to some quiet life that demanded nothing more from him than choosing to golf or sail today.

What had Kris done?

Kris had started the day just trying to save Vicky's dad's life and avoid a war. That had taken her to demanding to know why five thousand innocents should die for that one life.

Now she was wondering if her great-grandfather had his head on straight enough to rule 150 or so planets.

All Kris wanted to do was go to bed and pull a pillow over her head. Instead, she marched down the hall to face a panel of her chosen judges.

Kris slipped into the staff room and settled into the seat closest to the door. Heads turned as she came in, took her in and her choice of seating, and went back to talking over what they were studying. Maybe their conversation was lower. Maybe their backs were more turned to her. But she was left alone, a ghost at her own funeral.

But Kris was never one to do nothing. NELLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THE VIDEOS FROM THE BOFFINS' TAKE?

NO, KRIS.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE CHIEF BENI DOWNLOADED IT ALL TO A STAND-ALONE SYSTEM THAT HE HAS COMPLETE CONTROL OF. THAT SYSTEM IS WHAT EVERYONE THERE IS LOOKING AT.

So they didn't trust Kris, or Nelly, or both of them. They'd grabbed a copy of the data raw and unedited and were using it for their own study. Interesting. Would that hold up in a court? In a court like Vicky hinted Greenfeld had?

Well, girl, you wanted a full court. Why are you so surprised that the people you have around you know how to give you a full and honest court just like you asked for?

Kris folded her hand and wished Tommy had been in her life long enough to teach her how to pray. When she had gotten them into messes like this, praying seemed to help him feel better.

Jack glanced her way. ''You said we'd have an hour to look this stuff over. You know, in any normal investigation, this would take a couple of months.''

''Yes, but you only have an hour,'' Kris answered back.

''Any chance you could go talk some more with that fellow from Xanadu?'' Colonel Cortez asked.

''Not much of one. He hanged himself.''