Journey

“To answer your question, no, I wouldn't think you're crazy. Brave. And young. And energetic. And incredibly honorable and decent and loving and giving. But not crazy.” It was all she needed to know and it helped her with her decision.

She lay awake thinking about it all night, and in the morning, she called the social worker, and told her she wanted to adopt Andy. The social worker congratulated her, and told her she'd put the paperwork in motion. It was a heady moment in Maddy's life, and first she cried with joy and relief, and then she called first Bill and then Lizzie, and both of them sounded pleased for her, although she knew he had reservations. But if it was going to work with them, she couldn't give up her life's dreams for him either. And she knew he didn't want her to. He just didn't know if he wanted to be coaching Little League baseball at seventy, and she couldn't blame him for that. All she could hope for was that it would prove to be a blessing for everyone, not only for her and Bill, but especially for Andy.

When she left the hospital that day, she was wearing the clothes Bill had bought for her, and she went straight back to his house. She was amazed by how tired she still was, even though she hadn't gotten seriously hurt, the trauma of the explosion at the mall had taken a lot out of her. But she called her producer and promised to go back to work on Monday. And Elliott had called her several times, in awe of what had happened to her, and grateful that she had survived. It seemed like everyone she'd ever known had sent her flowers at the hospital. It was a relief to be peacefully at Bill's house. And the next day she was going to get her things in spite of Jack's threats that she could keep nothing. She had hired a security guard she knew to go with her. She hadn't heard a word from Jack since she told him she was leaving.

And that evening, she and Bill sat in front of the fireplace and talked for hours, while listening to music. He had cooked her dinner and served it by candlelight. She felt utterly spoiled and pampered. And neither of them could believe their good fortune. Suddenly, she was staying in his house, and she was free of Jack. They had a whole new world before them. Although it felt strange to Maddy. It was suddenly as though Jack didn't exist, and their entire life together had disappeared.

“I guess the abuse group really worked,” she beamed at him. “I'm a big girl now,” but she could still feel tremors of the past from time to time. She worried about Jack, and felt sorry for him, and feared he was depressed over what she'd said, and how ungrateful she appeared to be to him. She had no way of knowing that he had spent the weekend with a twenty-two-year-old girl he had met and slept with in Las Vegas. But there was a lot Maddy didn't know about him, and never would now.

“All it took,” Bill teased, “was blowing up an entire shopping mall to bring you to your senses.” But they both knew how seriously he took it. He had been devastated watching the tragedies all around him as he waited for them to rescue her. But it had been such a shocking thing that they both needed to lighten the moment a little. “When are you getting Andy, by the way?”

“I don't know yet. They're going to call me.” And then she asked him something she had thought of from the moment she decided to adopt Andy. “Will you be his godfather, if you won't be anything else to him?” she asked him seriously and he took her in his arms and held her.

“I'd be honored,” and then after he kissed her, he reminded her of something. “I haven't said I wouldn't be ‘anything else to him.’ We still have to figure that out. But if we're going to have a baby, Maddy, there are a few details we still need to attend to.” She laughed, and understood instantly what he was saying.

They put the dishes in the dishwasher, and turned the lights off, and walked quietly upstairs together, with his arm around her, and she followed him cautiously into his bedroom. She had discreetly put her few possessions in the guest room, not wanting him to feel pressured. She knew from everything he had said to her that there had been no other woman in his life since Margaret's death, but it had been just over a year now. The anniversary of it had been excruciating for him, but he had seemed freer and a little more lighthearted ever since.

She sat on his bed and they talked for a while, about the mall, his kids, Jack, and everything she'd been through. They had no secrets from each other. And as he looked at her, with love in his eyes, he pulled her slowly closer to him.

“I feel like a kid again when I'm with you,” he whispered, which was his way of telling her he was scared, but so was she, though only a little. She knew she had nothing to fear from him.