Journey

“You're disgusting,” she said, feeling sick as she listened. He had no respect for her whatsoever, and certainly no love for her. She wanted to tell him she was leaving, but she was afraid to. And the police were gone now that they had caught her stalker. She was afraid of Jack suddenly, and she knew he could see it.

“I'm tired of listening to you, Mad. Now get in bed, and stay there. And I'll let you know what I want to do about it.” She stood trembling in front of him for a long moment, and thought about refusing to get into bed with him, but she thought it would be worse if she did that. What had once been a somewhat roughshod style of making love to her had been becoming increasingly violent, ever since she had defied him over the story about Janet McCutchins. He was punishing her.

She went upstairs and got into bed without a word, and prayed that he wouldn't make love to her. And by some miracle, when he finally came to bed, he turned over without speaking to her, and didn't. Maddy was overwhelmed with relief.

Chapter 10

MADDY DIDN'T GO TO WORK with Jack the next day. He had to leave early, and she said she had some calls to make before she left for work, and he didn't ask any questions. No mention was made of the night before, he didn't apologize to her, and she didn't say anything about it. But as soon as he left, Maddy dialed Eugenia Flowers s office and made an appointment. The psychiatrist agreed to see her the next day, and she wondered how she would get through one more night with Jack. It was clear to her now that she had to do something before he really hurt her. It no longer seemed enough for him to demean her and call her poor white trash, he was beginning to openly abuse her, and she was starting to think that all he felt for her was hatred and contempt.

And as soon as she got to the station, Bill called her.

“How's it going?”

“Not so great,” she said honestly. “Things seem to be getting a little rougher.”

“They're going to get worse if you don't get out of there, Maddy. You heard what Dr. Flowers said.”

“I'm seeing her tomorrow.” And then she told him about the stalker. She knew the story was coming out in the paper that afternoon, and she had to identify the suspect in a lineup.

“Oh my God, Maddy, he could have killed you.”

“He tried to rape me. Apparently, Jack knew all about it, but he never told me. He doesn't think I'm bright enough to make decisions, since I never went to college.”

“You're one of the brightest women I know, Maddy, what are you doing?”

“I don't know. I'm scared,” she admitted to him. “I'm afraid of what will happen if I go.”

“I'm afraid of what will happen if you don't. He could kill you.”

“He won't do that. What if I never get another job? What if I wind up back in Knoxville?” She sounded panicked. It was all racing through her head.

“That's not going to happen. You'll get a better job. Knoxville is over for you, Maddy. You have to see that.”

“What if he's right? What if I'm too dumb to get hired by anyone else? He's right, I never did go to college.” He had made her feel like a fraud.

“So what, for Heaven's sake?” It frustrated him, listening to her. She made it impossible to help her. “You're beautiful and young and talented. You've got top ratings on the show. Maddy, even if he were right, and you had to scrub floors, which will never happen, you would still be better off out of there. He treats you like dirt, and he might hurt you.”

“He never has before,” but that wasn't entirely true either. He didn't hurt her as badly as Bobby Joe, but she had a scar where Jack had bitten her nipple in Paris. His form of violence was just subtler and more perverse than her previous husband's, but just as damaging to her psyche.

“I think Dr. Flowers is going to tell you the same thing I have.” They chatted for a few more minutes and he asked her to lunch, but she had to see the lineup at lunchtime.