Journeys into the bright world

It soon became apparent that these evolving relationships could ramify into an exceedingly complex form of transactional analysis (a system dealing with the child, adult, and parent selves in each of us) which could become as tricky as three-dimensional chess. We had to learn, for example, to banish Old Mary from the boudoir and the queen from the kitchen. The warrior, who was also a charioteer could be delegated to drive the sports car, but since he had an extravagant streak he was well advised to defer to Orphan Boy on payday. Cosmic butterfly might flitter freely over my typewriter keys but was better off slipping back into the grub stage when I sipped tea with our solidly Christian landlady. Wonder Boy and Bionic Woman could and did move mountains, but their exertions were sufficiently exhausting to leave the molehills from which Mickey and Mini-mouse might creep. However, even Mickey and Mini had their proper places as reminders of the mundane plane where people did not go into samadhi every weekend.

More and more we came to see that "I-ness" can be a fractious hodgepodge of contending pressure groups or it can be like a rose window of diametrically opposite but harmoniously blending qualities. It can be composed of debating teams of undisciplined demagogues or it can be a beautifully balanced mandala shining from within. Apparently the trick is not to reject these semi-autonomous fragments of the psyche but rather to put them to work in the places where they can be useful.

It also seemed evident that these subpersonalities can grow as though with a life of their own. Orphan Boy can learn that he is genuinely loved while the queen can come down off her throne and mingle with the populace. Old Mary can get smart and the warrior can temper his zeal. Little Sunny can accept the fact that the cosmic butterfly is still just a worm with wings, while the grub may be encouraged to know that there is always the possibility of taking flight. Wonder Boy and Bionic Woman can heed the commonsense advice given by Mickey and Mini-mouse even while the timorous mouse pair starts to realize that the soul cannot be fed with the crumbs of conventional success.

With the integration of each contending faction a liberation of energy occurs. Thus, through alternating stages of fission and fusion we learn to tap the power source that we know as the all-seeing, all-accepting, all-compassionate Self.

The next session two days later followed our evening hour of hatha yoga exercises. It seemed expeditious, therefore, to use this opportunity to practice a classic candle-gazing technique intended to assist in the opening of the third eye. We had become intrigued with this method of developing the higher mental faculties because at the end of our yoga class the previous week Howard had been sitting contemplatively with his eyes closed when suddenly, as though gazing through a peephole in the center of his forehead, he saw me standing in front of him with hands on hips. Opening his eyes he discovered that the vision was real; I actually was standing in that position. Again he closed his eyes and the image remained. This was his first experience of clairvoyant perception and he had found it impressive.

Now, in order to expedite this meditative process I took an injection of twenty-five milligrams while Howard took twelve and a half.

Session 11

December 14, 1977   7:30 pm   Alderwood Manor   25 and 12 mg

Marcia. (Explaining.) You see, you open your eyes and look at the flame.

Howard. That's pretty.

Marcia. Now when you can't look at it any more you close your eyes and try to see the same flame with your third eye. It's like the eye at the top of the pyramid where they used to place a crystal in the old days. Can you see something that looks like an eye in the center of your forehead?

Howard. Yes.

Marcia. Now again. Open your eye and stare at the flame. Then when your eyes get tired you close them and go right on seeing through the eye in the center of your forehead. The next time you do this you'll start to see with your third eye. That's the eye of your inner vision-the eye with which you will clairvoyantly diagnose. And remember, that eye also sends a beam out. The third eye doesn't only receive; it also radiates… Now, can you see the flame through the third eye? Mine actually looks like an eye. It has lashes and all. You do it again and again. And each time you get closer to seeing that eye. It's called tratakam.

Howard. Yeah.

Marcia. Now look at the candle and squint. Can you see the beams going off?

Howard. For sure. It's beautiful. The more you squint the more beautiful it is.

Marcia. It's your own inner light show. Keep on doing that. First you look at the candle…

Howard. Wow!

Marcia. And try to see it through your two eyes, the eyes at the base of the pyramid. Then through the third eye. I'll bet you didn't even know you had a third eye a year ago.

Howard. I didn't.