King Lear

LEAR    Ay, boy.

FOOL    Then, I prithee be merry: thy wit shall not go slip-¹⁰

shod.

LEAR    Ha, ha, ha!

FOOL    Shalt¹³ see thy other daughter will use thee kindly, for

though she’s as like this as a crab’s¹⁴ like an apple, yet I can tell

what I can tell.

LEAR    What canst tell, boy?

FOOL    She will taste as like this as a crab does to a crab.

Thou canst tell why one’s nose stands i’th’middle on’s¹⁸ face?

LEAR    No.

FOOL    Why, to keep one’s eyes of either side’s²⁰ nose, that

what a man cannot smell out he may spy into.

LEAR    I did her²² wrong—

FOOL    Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?

LEAR    No.

FOOL    Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.

LEAR    Why?

FOOL    Why, to put’s head in, not to give it away to his

daughters and leave his horns without a case.

LEAR    I will forget my nature. So kind a father!— Be my

horses ready?

FOOL    Thy asses are gone about ’em. The reason why the³¹

seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty³² reason.

LEAR    Because they are not eight.

FOOL    Yes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool.

LEAR    To take’t again³⁵ perforce. Monster ingratitude!

FOOL    If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’d have thee beaten

for being old before thy time.

LEAR    How’s that?

FOOL    Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst

been wise.

LEAR    O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven!

Keep me in temper⁴²: I would not be mad!—

To Gentleman

How now, are the horses ready?

GENTLEMAN Ready, my lord.

LEAR    Come, boy.

FOOL    She that’s a maid⁴⁶ now, and laughs at my departure,

Shall not be a maid long, unless things⁴⁷ be cut shorter.

Exeunt

Act 2 Scene 1

running scene 4

Enter Bastard [Edmund] and Curan, severally

EDMUND    Save thee¹, Curan.

CURAN    And you, sir. I have been with your father, and given

him notice that the Duke of Cornwall and Regan his duchess

will be here with him this night.

EDMUND    How comes that?

CURAN    Nay, I know not. You have heard of the news

abroad: I mean the whispered ones, for they are yet but ear-⁷

kissing arguments?

EDMUND    Not I: pray you, what are they?

CURAN    Have you heard of no likely wars toward¹⁰ ’twixt the

dukes of Cornwall and Albany?

EDMUND    Not a word.

CURAN    You may do then in time. Fare you well, sir.

Exit

EDMUND    The duke be here tonight? The better — best!

This weaves itself perforce¹⁵ into my business.

My father hath set guard to take¹⁶ my brother,

And I have one thing, of a queasy question¹⁷,

Which I must act. Briefness and fortune, work!—

Enter Edgar

Appears above and then enters below

Brother, a word: descend, brother, I say!

My father watches²⁰: O sir, fly this place.

Intelligence²¹ is given where you are hid;

You have now the good advantage of the night.

Have you not spoken gainst the Duke of Cornwall?

He’s coming hither, now, i’th’night, i’th’haste²⁴,

And Regan with him: have you nothing said²⁵

Upon his party gainst the Duke of Albany?

Advise yourself²⁷.

EDGAR    I am sure on’t, not a word.

EDMUND    I hear my father coming, pardon me:

Draws

In cunning³⁰ I must draw my sword upon you:

Edgar draws

Draw, seem to defend yourself. Now quit you³¹ well.

Yield: come before my father.— Light, ho, here!—

Fly, brother.— Torches, torches!— So, farewell.

Exit Edgar

Wounds his arm

Some blood drawn on me would beget opinion³⁴

Of my more fierce³⁵ endeavour: I have seen drunkards

Do more than this in sport.— Father, father!

Stop, stop! No help?

Enter Gloucester and Servants with torches

GLOUCESTER    Now, Edmund, where’s the villain?

EDMUND    Here stood he in the dark, his sharp sword out,

Mumbling of wicked charms, conjuring the moon⁴⁰

To stand auspicious mistress⁴¹—

GLOUCESTER    But where is he?

EDMUND    Look, sir, I bleed.

GLOUCESTER    Where is the villain, Edmund?

EDMUND    Fled this way, sir. When by no means he could—

GLOUCESTER    Pursue him, ho! Go after.

[Exeunt Servants]

By no means what?

EDMUND Persuade me to the murder of your lordship,

But that I told him the revenging gods

Gainst parricides did all the thunder bend⁵⁰,

Spoke with how manifold and strong a bond

The child was bound to th’father; sir, in fine⁵²,

Seeing how loathly opposite⁵³ I stood

To his unnatural purpose, in fell⁵⁴ motion

With his preparèd sword, he charges home⁵⁵

My unprovided body, latched⁵⁶ mine arm;

And when he saw my best alarumed⁵⁷ spirits,

Bold in the quarrel’s right, roused to th’encounter⁵⁸,

Or whether ghasted⁵⁹ by the noise I made,

Full⁶⁰ suddenly he fled.

GLOUCESTER    Let him fly far:

Not in this land shall he remain uncaught,

And found — dispatch⁶³. The noble duke my master,

My worthy arch and patron⁶⁴, comes tonight:

By his authority I will proclaim it,

That he which finds him shall deserve our thanks,

Bringing the murderous coward to the stake⁶⁷:

He that conceals him, death.

EDMUND    When I dissuaded him from his intent