Midsummer's Eve

"I do believe you," he said, "but I won't come. I won't have anyone else know I'm here. That maid 'ud have to know. I don't trust nobody 'cept you. I'll find him and when I can get him, I'll take him. Then I'll go. But I won't come to you.”

"You mean you'll stay here in the woods? Someone might see you. Some say they have.”

"They've seen ghosts. That's good. It keeps them away. I'm safe here. I wouldn't feel safe anywhere else. This is where I was ... where she was. I feel she's here sometimes ... looking after me.”

"Can I bring you anything?" Are you warm enough at night? I'll bring some food.”

"No, don't. People might see. I couldn't have anyone knowing.”

"I'll help you all I can, but I'm going to try to stop you. I'm going to make you see that you're playing a dangerous game. If you harm him and you're caught that will be the end for you.”

"I wouldn't care as long as I got him.”

"I have to go now," I said. "I don't want Kitty wondering where I am. People are getting uneasy about what is going on in the woods. Fires have been seen. They know someone is here.”

"Ghosts," he said again.

"That's what some think. Others might not. I came to see for myself, remember.”

"I'll take care. And you'll tell no one.”

"No. I'll tell no one.”

"You've done a lot for me.”

I looked at him sadly and I thought: You have done a lot for me.

I went back to the cottage thinking of my own folly for doubting Rolf.

I wanted to go to him and tell him that that which I had been unable to get out of my mind for years had now been made clear to me. I wanted to try to make him understand about that night before the day when we were to have been married and how I had imagined the grey robe was my wedding dress. But I should have to tell him how it had been made clear to me and I had promised Digory that on no account would I tell anyone that he was here.

But I must stop him in his mad design. If he attempted to kill Luke Tregern, the result would no doubt be death for him.

I could imagine how he had cherished thoughts of revenge during those years of servitude.

I knew from Matthew's book they they would have been grim, that he would often have been filled with despair. And perhaps what had kept him able to endure his lot was the thought of revenge.

I had to be careful.

I had to save Digory.

I smuggled food out to the woods. It was not easy, as it had been at Cador where there was so much in the larder that a little might not be missed.

"I can't see the remains of the chicken," said Kitty, puzzled.

I thought I should have to be careful. I took a blanket down with the chicken and some bread.

He was glad of them.

"I might have to tell Kitty," I said, "because she is going to miss the food.”

"I won't have anyone told," he retorted. "Don't bring food. I'll manage.”

"Digory, have you thought any more about what I've said?”

"What?" he asked.

"That if you ... harmed him ... you would suffer just as much.”

"I wouldn't be caught.”

Two days passed. I had not seen Rolf. I did not go to the stables because if I did I should surely see him and I should find it difficult not to tell him that Digory was in the woods. I longed to tell him that I knew the truth about that night now.

But how could I explain without betraying Digory?

I was constantly worried about him. I had seen the purpose in his face and I knew that he was plunging to certain disaster.

I bought some cheese in the town.

"I'll tell Kitty you've taken the Cheddar," said Mrs. Glenn who ran the shop.

"Oh, that's all right. I'll tell her.”

And I thought how difficult it was to do anything in such a place without being detected.

What would Kitty say if she knew I had bought cheese?

I cut a piece off and put it in the larder, so that I should be prepared.

"Cheddar!" she would say. "Why did you buy that? I thought it wasn't one of your favourites,”

But when Kitty came in she was so full of the news that she did not notice the cheese.

"What do you think? Luke Tregern has disappeared.”

I felt sick. I stammered: "Disappeared?”

"Yes. He left the house yesterday afternoon and he didn't come back.”

"What do they think has happened to him?”

"That's what they don't know. Mrs. Tregern's in a rare state, they say. They say she's well nigh crazy. Annie, the maid there, says she thinks there was a big row.”

"And that ... he's left her?”

Kitty nodded. "You see, they both went out riding together yesterday afternoon ... and when they come back she heard them shouting. She said ... and Annie heard this with her own ears ... 'What are we going to do?' just as though she was desperate like. Then after a while he went out ... and he didn't come back.”

Oh, God help him I thought. He's done it. And I thought I was making him see the folly of it and what it would do to him.

"Do they think he has left her?”