Mindbend

Together, they returned to the gym.

Jason’s high-pitched voice reverberated around the large room. “OK, let’s take dance variation number two from the top. Positions!” He clapped his hands and the echo sounded like the report of a gun. “Come on, Candy,” he yelled.

For a few minutes Jennifer watched the rehearsal. Then, trying to shake off her feelings of regret, she headed down the hall to Cheryl’s office.

Cheryl was leaning back, reading a paperback romance novel.

“You’re supposed to put me on maternity leave,” said Jennifer with resignation.

“I’m sorry,” said Cheryl. “Did Jason throw a fit?” She put her book down. Jennifer could see the title: The Flames of Passion.

“One of his best,” admitted Jennifer. “But I suppose it’s understandable. This is a bad time for me to take a leave.”

She sank into the chair in front of the desk. “Jason agreed to let me draw base pay for another two weeks. Of course, I still get my percentages from past performances.”

“What are you going to do?” asked Cheryl.

“I don’t know,” said Jennifer. “Maybe I can get a temporary job. Do you have any ideas? How did you find this position?”

“I went to an agency,” said Cheryl. “But if you’re looking for part-time work, try one of the temporary secretarial services. They always need people.”

“I couldn’t type to save my life,” said Jennifer.

“Then try one of the big department stores. A lot of my girlfriends have done that.”

Jennifer smiled. That sounded promising.

“Are you still going to come with me tomorrow?” asked Cheryl.

“Absolutely,” said Jennifer. “I wouldn’t think of letting you go by yourself. Were you alone when you had the amniocentesis?”

“Yup,” said Cheryl proudly. “It was a breeze. Hardly hurt at all.”

“Sounds like you have more courage than I,” said Jennifer.

Jennifer thought again about her mongoloid brother and wondered if she should ask to have the test.

Cheryl leaned forward, lowering her voice. “Like Candy said, I used to do a lot of drugs. Pot, acid, you name it.

Dr. Foley said that I should have the test to check the chromosomes. But he made it easy. If you have to have it, don’t worry. I was really nervous, but I’d do it again in a flash.” She sat back, pleased with herself.

Jennifer stared at Cheryl, remembering Dr. Vandermer and his chauvinistic attitude. “And this Dr. Foley, you like him?”

Cheryl nodded her head. “Dr. Foley is the nicest doctor I’ve ever met. If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t have done anything. And his nurses are nice, too. In fact, the whole Julian Clinic is just great. I’m sure Candy would call and make an appointment for you if you’d like.”

Jennifer smiled. “Thanks, but my husband sent me to someone at the medical center. Now, to get back to business.

What do I have to do to put myself on maternity leave?”

Cheryl wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know, to tell you the truth. I’ll have to ask Candy.”

After making plans to meet Cheryl the following morning, Jennifer got her coat and bag and went out into the street.

Walking to the subway, she struggled against an almost overwhelming depression. She had always expected pregnancy to be a wonderful experience, but now that she was bearing a child, instead of feeling happy, she was confused and angry.

And worst of all she knew that she wasn’t going to be able to share such feelings with anyone because she was certain no one would understand.

Biting her lower lip, Jennifer decided to try Macy’s first.

• • •

It was nearly six o’clock when Jennifer trudged up the stairs to their apartment. When she opened the door, she was surprised to find Adam on the couch. He usually wasn’t home this early. Then she realized he must have taken the rest of the day off after seeing his father.

“How did the meeting go?” she asked, making an effort to be pleasant. “Was your father helpful?”

“He was a delight,” snapped Adam. “He gave me a valuable lecture about responsibility and consistency.”

Jennifer hung up her coat and went over and sat next to Adam. His eyes were red with dark circles. “Was it that bad?”

“Worse,” said Adam. “Now he believes I’m the cause of my mother’s depression.”

“But her depression started with your brother’s death.”

“He seems to have forgotten that.”

“What did he say when you told him that we are going to have a child?”

“I didn’t,” said Adam. “I never had a chance. He made it very clear that I was on my own before I could even broach the subject.”

“I’m sorry,” said Jennifer.

Jennifer examined Adam’s face. She didn’t like what she saw. He seemed distant and cold. She wanted to ask him about Dr. Lawrence Foley but decided to put it off. “I think I’ll take a shower,” she said with a sigh as she stood up and walked into the bedroom.