My Secret Life

In the evening she came and took care to wait till no one was about. The door locked, “Have you got any more photos?” were almost her first words. Producing them we sat down, she looked them thro with lustful avidity, whilst I had one hand on her thigh. — It seemed to me almost incredible, that such complete familiarity should have come about between us in so short a time, she unmistakably a virgin four days before, — but so it was — I told her I'd fucked a thousand women. “Oh what a story.” Her mother had said I was a libertine by the look of my eyes. All this was seen, said and done, in a quarter of an hour, then, — “Let's do it dear.” She rose up at once ready for fucking. What woman doesn't when it's a novelty? It happened to be an unusually cold night and I suggested bed. — No she couldn't be away long and feared her mamma sending for her. — But naked we got into bed, and fucked again, laid in each other's arms after feeling and fumbling our gluey genitals till they were dry again. Then I rose on my knees and made her pull my foreskin up and down, and then I put my fingers up her cunt as far as I could — all this with loving amourous talk — till again my prick was up her and again we fucked.

In the interval between our pleasure my leaving occurred to me, yet I postponed telling it. Our talk was so delicious about sexualities, that I hadn't the heart to say what I'd intended. There is no more delicious conversation, than when a man tells to a neophyte all his experience in sexual matters. How Edith's quim heated I could tell by the way she cuddled me, the way she clutched my pego and asked about other women's cunts — very curious about those — and much about harlots and their doings; and yet I couldn't get her to utter a baudy word. — She was certainly a curious one.

The rest of the pleasant yet in some respects sad amour, must be shortened. Next day in the morning I asked her to come to my room. — Visitors were out, the chambermaid had done the rooms — there are times when but few are in the corridors — when she came. “Edith dear, I'm obliged to go to London,” — I blurted out determined to get it over. — She stared at me with mouth wide open for an instant, then flopped down heavily on a chair, buried her face in her hands, and burst into a flood of tears and sobbing. I awaited sadly, soothing as well as I could but could say nothing effectual. — At length she quieted and to some remark of mine, — “I knew it must be, and I've ruined my-self,” — not that I'd ruined her — I said that that was nonsense, but she repeated it, and that she should never marry now. We talked an hour, she in much grief, begging me to stop a day or two for she should never see me again — would I wait till her uncle came? We separated without fucking.

She however came next evening and we fucked twice. How she managed to humbug her mother at leaving her alone so much, is needless to tell. I saw her mother in her room next day, and before I left am sure she had no suspicions about me. I waited three days more till her uncle arrived, and we fucked twice every day, and talked about that operation ad libitum and all appertaining to it. Then I made her a present of the photos on condition of her repeating after me the three words, “prick, cunt, fuck” — the only ob- scene words I ever heard her say. Yet she'd a hot cunt, was salacious to her bumhole I am sure. I frigged her once, and gamahuched her every day after the first, besides fucking her. We parted that last evening in tears. She said she loved me.

In our conversations, she told me she'd had three offers of marriage nearly, but they were broken off, she never knew why. She declared that no man had ever taken a liberty with her but me and some school girls, that one or two female Indian servants had gamahuched her, tho she'd never heard that name for cunt licking before I had said it — which is possible. — I gathered that she'd a sister in India and somehow came to the conclusion that both sisters were illigitimate, tho I never heard such a thing hinted of them. — Was her mother ever married? I wondered. — Certainly she was a thoroughly well educated lady. The day before I left Edith her courses came on whilst fucking. I congratulated her on it, but as before she remarked, she said didn't care what became of her.

[Three years or so afterwards, I heard she was married to a very rich man who took her to Brazil, and that is all I know about her. — It was a singular liaison, and somehow I have always felt sad when I think of it.]

Chapter II