My Secret Life

As I got composed, a violent desire for her again came on and I sat by her. “Oh! What have you made me do?” “I've fucked you, let me again.” — “Oh, it's dreadful” she mumbled, yet she chuckled, and as I put her hand on my prick, she laughed a tipsy laugh again and greedily felt it. “Oh don't — no” — as my fingers felt her gluey quim and frigged it. She must have had a thirsty cunt, for she soon gripped my prick, and felt my titillation. — “Let's fuck dear?” — “Oh, no. Jack's coming back. — Oh, no — no.” — but as she said “No,” she turned her lips lovingly to mine, as if she couldn't help it. — She was under the dominion of lust, and yielding, scarcely knowing what she did, grasping my prick still which stiffened proudly, as I pushed her gently back. — “No — no — no,” — she chuckled as she fell into the same position. I threw up her clothes, she at once opened her thighs wide to receive me, spunk was all over them and ran from her cunt as my prick went up it and I had one of the most delicious fucks, tho this also was soon over, fear of being caught and of losing my early stiffness, of missing the chance of spending in that divine quim made me hurry, I rammed quickly and hard as a steam engine, encouraging her and my-self by baudy words till I sunk in Elysium on her belly, whilst the squeeze and oscillation of her cunt and bum came on at the same moment. Anxiety to get away for both out sakes, made me withdraw my prick still yielding up its balmy liquid. I made her then lay along the bed, and she instantly went off to sleep. I opened the door and got off un-observed. I'd never taken off my hat even when fucking, and must have done her twice in a quarter of an hour. When I rejoined my friends, “How hot you are,” said one. I gave some mendacious reason for it.

I fucked her at half past four and an hour after, Jack, whom I knew, came, and told me his sister had been upset by the strong sun. In the evening our party drove home. Jack was departing just as we were, and unfortunately out came Mrs. * * * * * *, sober. I accosted her of course as if I'd not seen her before, and never felt in greater difficulty, for I thought of her lovely chestnut fringed cunt as I spoke. She was confused, how she looked at me. I helped her and sister in law into the carriage, and my cock stood as I saw her pretty feet and fancied I smelt her. When our party got to the west end, I alighted and followed flashy whores till I got a nice one. All the evening my cock had stood at intervals thro recollection, and I thought of nothing else as I fucked the harlot in the same attitude as I em-braced Mrs. * * * * in, I shut my eyes, used the same baudy ejaculations, and fancied successfully that it was Mrs. * * * * * whom I was fucking.

[I find from subsequent memoranda, that this amour of twenty minutes filled my brain long afterwards, and that at times I shut my eyes whilst fucking and thought of Mrs. * * * *. Idealities have always helped me in sexual enjoyments. When poor and I had women for five shillings, I used to close my eyes and fancy I was enjoying females of higher class.] (I saw Mrs. * * * * for the first time about six months afterwards. She always avoided me. Nevertheless I once alluded to it, tho I knew I ought not. “Do you re-member being at * * * *,” I began, naming the place. “You ought never to refer to it,” said she, getting up and leaving me on some pretext. I noticed that when afterwards we met in society she was always in a furtive way looking at me. — She died two or three years after of typhoid fever.]

THE END.