Mything Persons

Massha broke in with a loud clapping of her hands.

"Bravo, Guido," she said. "I think your problem,

Green and Scaly, is that your idea of success is out of

step with everyone else's. We all want to see good things

happen for Skeeve, here, but we also like him just the

way he is. We've got enough faith in his good sense to

back him in whatever move he makes in his develop-

ment... without trying to frog-march or trick him up a

specific path."

Aahz not only gave ground before this onslaught of

protest, he seemed to shrink in a little on himself.

"I like him too," he mumbled. "I've known him

longer than any of you, remember? He's doing fine, but

he could be so much more. How can he choose a path if

he can't see it? All I'm trying to do is set him up to be

bigger than I ... than we could ever think of being

ourselves. What's wrong with that?"

Despite my irritation at having my life discussed as if

I weren't in the room, I was quite touched, by my

friends' loyal defense of me, and most of all by Aahz.

"You know, partner," I said softly, "for a minute

there, you sounded just like my father. He wanted me to

be the best... or more specifically, to be better than he

was. My mom always tried to tell me that it was because

he loved me, but at that time it just sounded like he was

always being critical. Maybe she was right... I'm more

inclined to believe it today than I was then, but then

again, I'm older now. If nothing else, I've had to try to

tell people I love them when the words just won't come

. .. and gotten upset with myself when they couldn't see

it when I tried to show them.

"Aahz, I appreciate your concern and I want your

guidance. You're right, there are paths and options I

can't even comprehend yet. But I also have to choose

my own way. I want to be better eventually than I am

today, but not necessarily the best. I think Guide's

right, there's a big price tag attached to being at the top,

and I'd want to think long and hard if I wanted to pay it

... even if I was convinced I could, which I'm not. I do

know that if it means giving up the trust I have in you

and everybody else in this room, I'll settle for being a

nickel-and-dime operator. That price I'll never pay will-

ingly."

Silence started to descend again as each of us re-

treated into his or her own thoughts, then the werewolf

bounded into the middle of the assemblage.

"But what is this, eh?" he demanded. "Surely this

136

Robert Asprin

cannot be ze great team of Aahz and Skeeve, ze ones

who can laugh at any dan-gair? "

"You know, Pepe," Aahz said warningly, "you've

got a great future as a stuffed head."

"My head?" The werewolf blinked. "But she is not

... oohh. I see now. You make ze joke, eh? Good. Zat

is more like it."

"... and as far as laughing at danger goes," I joined

in, determined to hold up my end of the legend, "the

only danger I see here is dying of boredom. Where is

Vilhelm anyway?"

"I know you and Aahz are fond of each other,

Skeeve," Chumley yawned, "but you've got to spend

more time with other people. You're starting to sound

like him. Maybe you can tag along the next time I have

an assignment."

"Over my dead body," my partner said. "Besides,

what could he learn from a troll that I couldn't teach

him myself?"

"J could teach him not to catch birds for Deveels for

ten gold pieces," the troll grinned, winking at his sister.

"That seems to be a part of his education you've ne-

glected."

"Izzat so!" my partner bristled. "You're going to

teach him about price setting? How about the time you

set your own sister up to steal an elephant without

bothering to check...."

. And they were off again. As I listened, I found myself

reflecting on the fact that while it was nice to know the

depths of my friends' feelings about me, it was far more

comfortable when they managed to conceal it under a

cloak of banter. For the most part, open sincerity is

harder to take than friendly laughter.

Chapter Sixteen:

"Don't be fooled by appearances."

—MALLOY

THINGS were pretty much back to normal by the time

Vilhelm returned with our disguises... which was a

good thing as the process of masking-up proved to be a

test of everybody's sense of humor.

Until I had hooked up with Aahz, I had never had oc-

casion to pretend I was anyone but myself. As such, I

had no way of knowing how long it took to don a

physical disguise without resorting to magic. By the time

we were done, I had a new respect for the skills I had

learned, not to mention a real longing for a dimension

... any dimension with a strong force line to work with.

Tananda was a major help, her experiences with the

assassin's guild came into play and she took the lead in

trying to coach us into our new roles.

"Guido, straighten up!" she commanded, exaspera-

tion creeping into her voice. "You walk like a gang-

ster."

"I am a gangster!" my bodyguard snarled back.

137

138 Robert Asprin MYTH-ING PERSONS 139

"Besides, what's wrong with the way I walk? It got us to

the jail, didn't it?"

"Half the town wasn't looking for you then," Ta-

nanda argued. "Besides, then you could pick your own