Ralph Compton Blood Duel

“That we place notices in as many newspapers as we can with the money we have left,” Adolphina said. “We will invite every badman, curly wolf, and gun shark who is so inclined to come to Coffin Varnish and settle their differences.”

“That is insane,” Win said. “We wouldn’t be able to step outside for all the lead flying around.”

Adolphina enlightened him. “Not if we arrange it so they only shoot each other at specific times of the day. We will charge for the privilege, then charge for people to view the losers. That way we make money at both ends. Lots and lots of money.”

“My God. You are serious!”

“Never more so,” Adolphina said. “It is high time Coffin Varnish lived up to its name. If, in the process, we make a lot of money, where is the harm?

“You can’t spend money if you are dead,” Winifred said. “No one has ever done anything as harebrained as this. Forget it, for all our sakes, or calamity will come calling.”

Adolphina smiled. “Let us place the notice in the newspaper and find out.”

Chapter 10

Undersheriff Seamus Glickman was good and mad. He had not minded—at least not that much—being forced to leave Dodge the first time. Shooting affrays happened all the time in Ford County. They were to be taken as a matter of course. But this! He got so mad thinking about it that he swore at his horse for no reason. Then his head snapped up.

Coffin Varnish had appeared up ahead.

Seamus glumly wished the earth would open up and swallow the whole damn town. He parted his jacket and patted the ivory handles of his Merwin and Hulbert revolver. For two bits he would shoot the whole bunch of them. Idiots, he fumed, the whole kit and caboodle.

Mad as he was, Seamus made for the saloon rather than the general store. As usual, Win Curry sat in the shade of the overhang, and greeted him with a smile.

“Good morning, Sheriff Glickman. How do you do this fine day?”

“Don’t how do you do me,” Seamus snapped, dismounting. “What in hell has gotten into you people? Did the whole population get drunk on your red-eye?”

“Uh-oh,” Win said.

Seamus opened his saddlebags and took out the latest edition of the Dodge City Times. He walked under the overhang and shook the folded newspaper practically in the saloon owner’s face. “Was this your idea or some other lunatic’s?”

“I warned them it would not go over well,” Win said. “But they never listen to me.”

“They being the good mayor and his wife?” Seamus guessed.

“You are a genius or as close to one as I will ever meet.”

“Save your humor for someone who will appreciate it.” Seamus spun and stalked toward the general store. “They might not have listened to you, but they will by God listen to me. I am here to put a stop to this nonsense.”

Win was out of his chair and caught up within a few strides. “Mind if I tag along? Coffin Varnish is mighty short on entertainment and this promises to be a humdinger.”

Seamus spied the two Mexicans over by the livery. The polite one, Placido, smiled and touched the brim of his sombrero, but Seamus did not return the gesture. For all he knew, those two were in on it. Hadn’t they displayed the original bodies in their livery?

“You have met Adolphina, haven’t you?” Win asked, knowing full well that Glickman had.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Seamus growled.

“I want you to be prepared. I am on your side.”

Seamus stopped and faced him. “Why? You live here. I should think you would be all for it.”

“I am all for breathing,” Win said. “Let me put it another way. If the wolves in the area go rabid, you don’t invite them to your house for supper or you will be the main course.”

“I could not have said it better myself,” Seamus admitted. He shook the newspaper again. “Didn’t you try to reason with them? Didn’t you impress on them the sheer folly of their enterprise?”

“At the town council meeting I talked until I was blue in the face,” Win informed him.

“And? What effect did you have?”

“The same effect as talking to trees.”

Seamus moved on. “I, by God, will have an effect. The sheriff is fit to burst a vein. Other newspapers will pick up on it. Before long Coffin Varnish will be the laughingstock of the state.” He was almost to the general store when the door opened and a smiling Chester Luce filled the doorway.

“Sheriff Glickman! How wonderful to see you again.”

Thrusting the newspaper at him, Seamus snapped, “How would you like this shoved up your backside?”

“I take it this is not a social call?” Chester said. He had seen Glickman enter town and could tell how furious he was. The newspaper hinted why. But Chester refused to be intimidated. He thought of Adolphina, and the money they would make. All that wonderful money.

“Don’t play the innocent with me,” Seamus said. “You will explain yourself, and it had better be good.”

“Wouldn’t you care to come in and discuss this over refreshments rather than stand out here in the hot sun?” Chester asked.

“The sun be damned. Explain. Explain right now.”