Ralph Compton Blood Duel

Chester continued to think of the money, only the money. It gave him the fortitude to say, “Perhaps you would be so kind as to make clear exactly why you are upset?”

By now Seamus was so mad he came close to punching Coffin Varnish’s mayor in the nose. Containing his anger, he unfolded the newspaper and opened it to the advertisements. He cleared his throat. “Public Notice,” he read, louder than he needed to. “The town of Coffin Varnish hereby serves notice that as of this date, anyone with a grudge is invited to come to Coffin Varnish and settle their differences howsoever they may choose. Shootings will be allowed under town sanction at specified times of the day, provided a permit is obtained. A burial fee is also required, should it prove necessary.” Seamus stopped and glared at the mayor.

“Is there a problem?” Chester asked.

“I’m not done.” Seamus read the last line, his voice a snarl. “All badmen, curly wolves, leather slappers, pistoleros, feudists, and shootists are cordially invited to Coffin Varnish to hash out their differences.” He crumpled the newspaper and shook it. “Have you gone out of your mind?”

“Are you sure I can’t interest you in something to drink?”

That did it. Seamus grabbed hold of the front of the mayor’s shirt and nearly yanked him off his feet. “I should pistol-whip you.”

“Really, now,” Chester said, prying at the other’s fingers. “Is this manhandling necessary?”

A choice selection of cusswords was on the tip of Seamus’s tongue when a large bulk loomed behind the mayor and a hand bigger than his shot out and seized his wrist.

“Release my husband this instant,” Adolphina Luce demanded.

Taken aback by the strength in her grip, as well as her gender, Seamus let go and she let go of him. “Mrs. Luce. Are you aware of what your husband has done?”

“More than aware since it was my idea,” Adolphina said. She resorted to her most disarming smile. “Is there a problem?”

“You can’t invite killers into your town.”

“Who says we can’t?” Adolphina retorted. “There is no law against it that we know of.”

“There is a law against murder,” Seamus said, “and soliciting for murder.”

“But we are not soliciting anything,” Adolphina remarked. “We merely extended an invitation.”

“A quibble, at best, and a distinction a judge is not likely to agree with,” Seamus said. He and the sheriff had talked it out before he left Dodge, and he had a mental list of criticisms, legal and otherwise.

“Are you here to arrest us?” Adolphina asked.

“If I could, I would,” Seamus said. Once again he shook the newspaper. “I am here to put a stop to this madness. You will place a notice in tomorrow’s Times stating that your previous notice was in error.”

“We will do no such thing.”

Seamus never hit women but he dearly yearned to make an exception. “Damn it, woman. Listen to reason. The county is prepared to take whatever steps are necessary to stop you.”

“By the county you mean the sheriff,” Adolphina divined. “But since you had already admitted you do not have grounds to arrest us, what is left? Take us to court?”

“If the county has to, it will.”

“Legal proceedings cost a lot of money,” Adolphina said. “They also take a lot of time. There are appeals and more appeals. It could be years before the legal aspects are resolved.”

“Don’t do this,” Seamus said.

“The case might go all the way to the Supreme Court.”

“Don’t do this, Mrs. Luce.”

Adolphina placed her hand on Chester’s shoulder and smiled. “I am afraid you have ridden here for nothing, Undersheriff Glickman. Go back and tell Sheriff Hinkle and whoever else is opposed to our idea that we stand firm in our commitment.”

Seamus ground his teeth in exasperation. He looked at her husband and then at Win Curry. “Don’t either of you have anything to say? Why is she doing all the talking when she is not an elected official?”

“My wife speaks on my behalf,” Chester said, “and on behalf of the good people of Coffin Varnish.”

“Good people!” Seamus snorted. “Idiots is more like it. Jackasses who will find themselves six feet under if they are not careful.”

“Watch your language in the presence of a lady,” Adolphina said.

In disgust, Seamus threw the newspaper in the dust. “Fine. It is on your heads. I will talk to the sheriff and he will send word to the governor. After that, it is out of our hands.” Wheeling, he strode toward his mount.

Winifred hurried after him. “Don’t go away mad. Would you care for a drink before you leave?”

“I would like a club to beat some sense into those simpletons.” Seamus did not stop. He unwrapped the reins, hooked his foot in the stirrup, and swung up.

“It was not my doing,” Win stressed.

Seamus lifted the reins and scowled. “You live here. Whether you agreed or not, you will suffer the consequences. What do they hope to get out of it, anyhow?”

“More bodies to display at a dollar a view.”