Rumble Tumble

“Herman, maybe,” I said. “Red, not at all. There’s other problems. We got to go to Mexico sneaky like. We can’t just walk across the border with our guns and enough ammunition to start a revolution.”

“Any idea how we’ll do that?” Leonard asked.

“Herman claims he has a border connection,” Brett said. “But it’ll cost us some money. A thousand dollars. I got the money, so if Herman’s telling the truth, that’s done.”

“I don’t know,” Leonard said. “I wouldn’t trust either one of ’em far as I could throw ’em. Though, the midget I could probably toss pretty far.”

“I hate that little shit,” Brett said. “Far as I’m concerned, I’d put up a hoop and watch you make baskets with him.”

“What’s it going to be?” I said. “We going to trust Herman or not?”

“I have to,” Brett said.

“No you don’t,” Leonard said. “We go Herman’s way, but we don’t trust him. We keep our eyes open and don’t get too lax. I say we put Red in the trunk again.”

“Suits me,” Brett said.

“Not me,” I said.

“Always the fuckin’ humanitarian,” Leonard said.

“He could get gassed, die on us.”

“Your point?” Brett said.

“Amusing,” I said. “But it could happen.”

“He’s right,” Leonard said. “Then we got a dead midget to explain. Another point, we do this thing Herman wants, pay this guy to get us across the Mexican border with our weapons, what then? What about The Farm?”

“I asked him that,” I said. “The Farm is a way station and pleasure house for the Bandito Supremes. Where they are, they feel pretty safe. Got authorities paid off, and there aren’t any immediate authorities anyway.”

“Recreation,” Brett said. “That’s what they’re doing with Tillie. She’s just meat for them. These Bandito Supremes want a little R and R, well, Tillie’s there for them. Sort of like a piece of equipment in a rec room. It’s disgusting.”

“Way you got to look at it, Brett, is like this,” Leonard said. “She ain’t doin’ nothin’ she wasn’t already doin’. She’s doin’ more of it and maybe in rougher circumstances, but it’s not a new experience, so it’s not necessarily a worse life than before. Important thing is, we’re gonna go in there and get her.”

“Herman says the place really isn’t guarded that well,” I said. “There’s so many of them they don’t worry much.”

“How many?” Leonard asked.

“It can vary from time to time,” I said. “Depends.”

“So there could be fifty or a hundred?”

“It’s possible. But there could be three.”

“That’s my man,” Leonard said. “Still looking for that pony.”

“Pony?” Brett said.

“Tell you later,” I said.

“Anyway,” Leonard said, “we’re going to cross the border with all our little guns, then we’re going to waltz in there and shoot the shit out of fifty, maybe a hundred guys. Or maybe three guys, and we’re going to take Tillie with us, get back across the border, and head for the house. That doesn’t sound like much of a plan, Hap.”

“Herman thinks we can maybe do it at night,” I said. “Go in and get Tillie and not cause too much of a ruckus. He knows the place well, and he knows the country around there fairly well.”

“Here’s the good part,” Brett said. “Herman’s connection, he hasn’t seen in ten years. That doesn’t work out, then we have to figure a way to get ourselves across the border.”

“Then, if we managed to do this thing,” I said, “we got to deal with the Bandito Supremes coming after us.”

“I don’t know that’ll amount to much we get a good lead,” Leonard said. “These guys are a bunch of thugs, not the Deerslayer. I doubt they could track sperm on their legs.”

“Herman says the Bandito Supremes are vengeful,” Brett said. “They’ll follow us if they know who to follow. You’d think one little whore wouldn’t be worth it.”

“It’s got nothing to do with that,” I said. “It’s that old macho mentality about crossing the line, and holding the line. Herman was lucky once. If they know it’s him this time, they aren’t going to make any pact. And besides, there’s another reason Herman wants to go. He doesn’t want to come back here even if they don’t see him. He wants to start over. Sort of remake himself.”

“He tell you that?” Leonard said.

“No,” I said. “Not exactly, but that’s what I get from him.”

“He’s got some kind of fantasy going he can take Red away from the life of a thug,” Brett said, “turn him into something better.”

“Yeah,” Leonard said, “and a kind word to a crocodile will get you a smile.”

“It all boils down to this,” I said. “Do we still want to go in?”

“You know what I have to do,” Brett said.

“Then you know what I have to do,” I said.

“I don’t have to do shit,” Leonard said, “but since I got nothing but laundry waiting at home, let’s do this thing.”

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