Рыбалка в Пронькино (СИ)

- National Defense Research Commitee. It was created by FDR in 1940 with the objective to research anything new that could be turned into weaponry. The agency was terminated in 1947.

- What's FDR?

- Tell you what, Bubba, you're fixing to get on my nerves! It's Franklin Delano fucking Roosevelt, you dumbass! The Manhatten Project... Rings the bell? If it does not, I'll kick your dumb black ass out of this high ranked multiply decorated white body and never regret!

- C'mon, Tecumseh, chill out! Of course I know what the Manhatten Project is. I also know who FDR was. I was just pullin' your leg, eh?

- Fuck you! So you also know that the Manhatten Project had started under NDRC?

- I didn't know that.

- That's Okay. NDRC was brought back from the dead by the Defense Ministry when the first contactee appeared. The very existence of those contactees was implying that these global attacks have been organized by some intellectual force. The NDRC's primary objective is to find and neutralize this force. And guess what? The acting chair of NDRC is admiral William Tecumseh Sherman! A tough ol' boy who's still mourning his precious wife so much that he can't even masturbate.

- Why does he have to masturbate?

- Because without a proper sexual relief a man's brain cannot properly work! His brain keeps stalling! He needs to come back to life. It's vital for him, for NDRC and it"s mission and the whole fucking humankind.

- What's gonna change if he starts jerking off?

- Then he'll have a physical reason to start looking for a new woman for himself, so that he could get all love and support he needs.

- A physical reason?

- Yes, the ability to fuck that woman, captain Obvious, a fucking boner!

- Can he first find the right woman and become like, friends first and evolve their relationship from there? Once they have a proper emotional connection it will help to establish their sex routine, I guess.

- Oh, man! Now you sound like a politically correct brainwashed old ugly feminist bitch on a cheap dating site who really wants to get fucked but she can"t afford to lose her so called, um... dignity! Lemme ask you this: can you build a roof before building a foundation?

- Stupid question. Of course, not!

- Same thing! A strong physical attraction and good sex is the foundation! You can"t tell for sure if a woman is right for you until you fucked her a couple of times. Admiral Sherman will never start hunting for a woman if he"s not confident about his hardware. That"s why he needs to restore his ability to produce a decent boner and shit!

- So that he knew he won"t embarrass himself and US Navy in front of his new girlfriend?

- Exactemundo! Now you"re talking. See now, and jerking off is just the first step! Are you with me, bro?

- Yes I am... but I kinda... Fuck! This matter is so um... delicate! I"m not really sure if I am up to the job. Let me sleep with this thought so that I could make up my mind.

- Хули ты сопли жуёшь, шпион американский? - неожиданно услышал Дуэйн хорошо знакомый голос Женьки Мякишева. - Предлагают тебе поработать адмиральским хуем - соглашайся! Я тут подключил Толяна, и он сказал что это идеальное прикрытие для сбора информации. А с открытым забралом чего-то узнать - без мазы.

- C открытым чего? Ебалом? - не понял Дуэйн, огорошенный внезапным вторжением озёрного крёстного отца в столь интимную беседу.

- Вот именно, ебалом. Щёлкать, блять... Кончай вафли ловить, капрал, быстро говори йес! We'll sort out the details later. Over and out!

- Okay, Tecumseh. I agree. - Если бы Дуэйн был в своём собственном теле, он бы глубоко вздохнул.

- Awesome! - обрадовалась адмиральская душа. - I don't know how to thank you! You're a scholar, diplomat, statesman, and all-round nice guy!

- Um... Can I ask you something? - Дуэйн на пару секунд задумался, как лучше задать адмиральской душе очень деликатный вопрос.

- Sure! Fire away!

- Thank you. Well, you stated that admiral Sherman is still mourning his wife. And you - you definitely not! How come?

- Gee, that"s an easy one! Admiral is a live man. He can"t see his wife, can"t talk to her, touch her, sleep with her. Of course, he"s mourning her. On the other hand, I am just his soul, so I am still in deep contact with Ellen" soul. We never parted, for a soul death means nothing.

- I got your point, Tecumseh. But why do you want your body...

- I prefer to call him a "patron".

- Okay, why do you want your patron to start an affair with another woman?

- Because he is alive! He must live his life in the fullest! He needs love in both flesh and spirit. He needs to move on. And for that, he does not have to leave Ellen behind - that"s why he has me, his soul!

На пару минут в ментальном пространстве адмирала Шермана воцарилось суеверное молчание, которое всегда наступает в предчувствии больших перемен.

- Женька Мякишев! - осторожно позвал Дуэйн по-русски, обратившись в неведомое чёрное пространство. - Ты меня слышишь, хуегрыз?

- Сам ты хуегрыз! - ворчливо откликнулся Женька. - Чего хотел-то?