Second Shot

“What are you going to do, Charlie?” he said. He turned to face me, hefting Ella higher so that she was shielding most of his upper body. He ducked his head close to hers, so they were together, touching. “You really think you’d risk trying to shoot me, without even knowing why?”

“I don’t need to know why,” I said. I edged closer. Lucas was above me, on the higher ground. Between us was a ditch. I stopped on the rim of it, only a few meters away from them. “You’re a threat to my principal. That’s good enough.”

He gave a hollow laugh. “Am I? Don’t you think it’s Simone who’s a threat to me? And what about you? She fired at you, too. And at her own daughter! You both could have been killed.”

“ YOU know as well as I do she didn’t mean to do that.”

“Didn’t she? Dead is still dead, meant or not,” he said flatly. ‘And how do you know she didn’t mean it? You saw Jakes, didn’t you?”

I stilled. “You’re not trying to tell me she killed Jakes,” I said. “Get real, Lucas.”

But when I heard a noise off to our right I tensed, just the same as he did.

“Right now,” I said, “I just want to get Ella to safety. Give her to me, Lucas. Whatever’s going on between you and Simone, for God’s sake leave Ella out of it.”

If anything, he gripped the little girl tighter. “No way,” he said. “She’s my insurance. My guarantee. Let’s face it, Charlie, are you going to risk taking a shot?”

I hadn’t lowered the Glock a fraction, still had it out in front of me. Lucas was less than four meters away, uphill and slightly to my right, keeping his face pressed against the side of the child’s head as though the touch of her alone would keep him safe, like a protective force field.

Ella had given up her struggles now and was passive in his arms. She might even have been clinging on around his neck. After all, though she could well have been terrified, this was the man she’d learned to call Grandpa. You couldn’t just undo that in an instant. I couldn’t see her face, couldn’t judge how aware she was of exactly what was going on around her.

I mentally calculated the amount of Lucas’s head visible alongside hers and knew that, technically, I could take him out. One round, straight through the mouth. If I was quick I could probably reach Ella before he finished falling.

But I wouldn’t be able to stop her seeing what I’d done. Wouldn’t be able to stop her witnessing a bloody death. A sight no child should ever have to see. She was only four. How much would she forget in time? And how much would haunt her forever?

Slowly, gradually, I let the muzzle of the Glock rise, uncurled my finger from the trigger and laid it along the outside of the guard instead.

“OK, Lucas,” I said. “You’re right. I’m not going to — “

That was as far as I got.

The first shot ripped hot through my left thigh, jerking me off balance. For a few long seconds the only thing I felt was the jolt and the shock of it. Then the pain came rushing in. My nervous system overloaded and shut down, leaving my mind screaming for action. I started to turn, sluggish and clumsy, and that’s when something hit me in the back like an express train.

I watched with a kind of horrified fascination as the Glock went tumbling into the snow from fingers that didn’t seem to be mine any longer. I caught the briefest flash of movement above me, saw Lucas already twisting away, already fleeing without hesitation. I could see Ella’s face staring back at me over his shoulder as he ran with her into the trees. I’ve never seen such terror on the face of a child.

I’d promised her she’d be safe with me, that I wouldn’t leave her. I’d promised her mother that I’d look after the pair of them, come what may.

I tried to take a step after Lucas’s rapidly disappearing figure but it was all so heavy, nothing quite worked anymore.

Oh, so this is what its like….

I stumbled and went down.

Fourteen

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment of my waking. It wasn’t like just flicking a switch between oblivion and reality. Instead, I made the transition slowly, merging the edges of one into the other, until it was all just a slurred emulsion of violent dreams and pain and darkness and hazy memories and odd moments of utter peace.

Then, finally, I opened my eyes and found that they were prepared to stay open without dragging me downwards again like a doomed submariner. Everything crowded in on me in a thunderous rush, too much information to take in, arriving much too fast.

I squinted in the harsh light and found I was lying on my back in what could only be a hospital bed. Hospitals look the same and feel the same and smell the same, the industrialized world over.

There was a foul taste on my tongue and an oxygen mask covering my nose and mouth. I had the strange feeling of being one stage disconnected from the rest of my body. But at least I had a body to feel disconnected from. So, I’d definitely imagined my own death.

But I hadn’t imagined Simones.